Friday, June 28, 2013
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
I DREAM OF GENIE
A Mexican (an undocumented Democrat), a Black (a documented Democrat), a Muslim and a Redneck were walking together on a beach when the Black stumbled over a bottle in the sand. He picked up the bottle, rubbed the sand off it, and a Genie appeared.
The Mexican said, “I weesh for enough Cheby peekups to take all my peoples back to our homeland, May-he-co!” Poof! It was done! Row after row of Chevrolet pickups appeared on the beach.
The Muslim said, “I wish for a hundred thousand camels to take all of my people away from this horrible country loaded with infidels so we can live in peace in Muslim countries and serve Allah.” Poof! It was done! A hundred thousand camels suddenly appeared on the beach.
The Redneck said, “Just give me a Bud Lite. It doesn’t get any
better than this!”
“I can only grant four wishes,” the
Genie said. “Since there are four of you, you may have a wish apiece.”
Pointing at the Black, he said, “Since you found the bottle, you may
have the first wish.”
The Black thought for a moment then said, “I wish for a fleet of
ships so that I can gather all my people and take them back to our
homeland, Africa .” Poof! It was done! Thousands of ships appeared on the skyline.The Mexican said, “I weesh for enough Cheby peekups to take all my peoples back to our homeland, May-he-co!” Poof! It was done! Row after row of Chevrolet pickups appeared on the beach.
The Muslim said, “I wish for a hundred thousand camels to take all of my people away from this horrible country loaded with infidels so we can live in peace in Muslim countries and serve Allah.” Poof! It was done! A hundred thousand camels suddenly appeared on the beach.
Turning to the Redneck, the Genie asked, “And what is your
wish?”
The Redneck watched as the loaded pickups began moving toward the
border, then looked out to sea and watched the loaded ships sailing out
into the sunset, then he looked at all of the Muslims getting on top of the camels and riding off.wish?”
The Redneck said, “Just give me a Bud Lite. It doesn’t get any
better than this!”
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
3 OPTIONS
1-Turn off the cell phone.
2-Get off the plane.
3-Get off the plane and go to jail.
and she chose 3.
2-Get off the plane.
3-Get off the plane and go to jail.
and she chose 3.
Monday, June 24, 2013
A DEA officer at a ranch in Texas
A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas, and talked with an old rancher.
He told the rancher, ”I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.”
The rancher said, “Okay , but don’t go in that field over there….,” as he pointed out the location.
The DEA officer got red in the face and exploded, ”Mister! I have the authority!”
Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher.
“See this badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish. On any land!! No questions asked or answers given!! Do you understand?!! HAVE I MADE MYSELF CLEAR?!!!!!!”
The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores.
A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher’s big Santa Gertrudis bull.
With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he’d sure enough get gored before he reached safety.
The officer was clearly terrified.
The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs.
“Your badge, show him your BADGE…….. !!!”
Sunday, June 23, 2013
HUMAN TRAFFICKING IN SUBURBIA
Yet, as reported by the San Francisco Examiner on June 13, law enforcement busted a prostitution operation which was coordinated by a husband and wife team referred to as "Bob and Coco." The husband, Zhi Liu, age 49, was arrested. While wife, Wei Gou, age 51, was not present at the time of the raid. San Mateo County District Attorney Steve Wagstaffe's office was pleased to tell this reporter on assignment for the Peninsula Progress, that bail for Liu was increased to $200,000. "This is a very serious case," said Chief Deputy District Attorney Karen Guidotti. When the Peninsula Progress called on Wednesday June 19, to inquire for more details, Guidotti noted that Liu was to attend hearing that afternoon. She explained why the case was serious. "This is not simply prostitution, said Guidotti, this involves human trafficking." She also noted that by increasing the bail, prosecutors seek to keep the suspect from taking flight in an attempt to leave the area.
UPPER WEST SIDE ON IRS SCANDAL
Published on Jun 18, 2013
We've all seen coverage in the news
of the IRS scandal, but how many people know that the IRS will play a
major role in ObamaCare, as the agency chosen to enforce the many taxes,
regulations and mandates contained in the law?
Ami Horowitz went to Manhattan's famously liberal Upper West Side to find out exactly how much the locals know about the IRS and ObamaCare. The results are in, and frankly we don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Ami Horowitz went to Manhattan's famously liberal Upper West Side to find out exactly how much the locals know about the IRS and ObamaCare. The results are in, and frankly we don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Saturday, June 22, 2013
MICRO ROBOT SURVEILLANCE BIRD
DC Breaking Local News Weather Sports FOX 5 WTTG
Researchers at the University
of Maryland have developed a robot bird whose wings can flap independently of each other.
of Maryland have developed a robot bird whose wings can flap independently of each other.
Called the "Robo Raven," the breakthrough engineering technology allows the robot to achieve any desired motion and to perform aerobatic maneuvers.
any desired motion and to perform aerobatic maneuvers.
Developed
by University of Maryland Professors S.K. Gupta and Hugh Bruck and
their students, the robot birds could one day be used for reconnaissance
and surveillance.
The final design enables a tiny video camera, can be launched from the ground, and can fly in winds up to 10 mph.
The micro air bird even fooled a local hawk, which attacked the robot in mid-flight on more than one occasion.
SEDUCED OR RAPED?
Don Draper Was Raped
Mad Men's non-consensual encounter between a young,
frightened Dick Whitman and a prostitute didn't generate as much chatter
as its gender-reversed scenario might have. Why?
Friday, June 21, 2013
Obama Says Religious Schools Divisive
President Barack Obama angered some proponents of Catholic education during his visit to Northern Ireland this week when he told a Belfast audience that towns will remain divided "if Catholics have their schools and buildings, and Protestants have theirs." An article, which subsequently appeared in the Scottish Catholic Observer, carried the headline, "U.S. President Undermines Catholic Schools After Vatican Prefect Praised Them." The article said Obama "made an alarming call for an end to Catholic education in Northern Ireland," and quoted from recent remarks of the Vatican’s Archbishop Gerhard Müller, who had said that Catholic education was "a critical component of the Church." Dr. Matthew Bunson, senior correspondent for Our Sunday Visitor and author of the new book "Pope Francis," tells Newsmax the president should have chosen his words more carefully, and he pointed to the contribution that Catholic education has made to bringing about the 15-year-old peace in the once-troubled region. Ashley McGuire, a senior fellow with The Catholic Association, also viewed Obama's remarks as an attack on Catholic education. "Catholic education is a longstanding tradition and a gift to society at large," she said. "Why the president chose to attack that tradition is beyond comprehension and represents his continuing effort to relegate religion to the private sphere." Read Latest Breaking News
QUIT YOUR BAD HABITS AND BE RICH!
How Much Do Bad Habits Cost?
By Christina Couch | Bankrate.comA cigarette here, a few drinks there and choosing potato chips over baby
carrots all add up. Indulging in vices is often portrayed as the fun
part of life, but letting bad habits go unchecked can have a deleterious
effect on your wallet -- not to mention your health.
But don't worry; you can change. A study by researchers at University College London in the United Kingdom shows that it takes a little more than two months on average to break a bad habit and form a new one.
The first step to kicking a bad habit is to understand exactly how it impacts you. Here's how a few of the most common bad habits wreak havoc on your budget every year. Bankrate shows how you can reverse the trend and amass some serious money instead by annually investing those funds in a long-term savings vehicle that returns a modest 6 percent a year on average.
Smoking cigarettes
Getty ImagesYearly cost: $2,555
Savings after 30 years of compounding interest: $201,994
Cigarettes retail for about $5 to $12 a pack, depending on where you live. But factor in increased medical expenses, insurance costs and the impact of secondhand smoke to society, and the real price increases dramatically. Researchers from Duke University and the University of South Florida estimate that, for a woman, the all-inclusive cost of smoking over a lifetime is $106,000; for a man, $220,000. This includes social costs imposed on others via Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security.
Richard Kappers, director of marketing at Cigna, says smoking not only drives up life insurance costs by 20 percent and increases health insurance expenses, it can also impact your ability to qualify for either.
But renouncing the habit pays off. Quitting smoking at age 39 can reduce the "excess risk of death from any cause" by up to 90 percent, according to a January 2013 article in The New England Journal of Medicine, and can qualify you for the same insurance rates as nonsmokers, says Kappers.
"Generally, they want you to be tobacco-free for 12 months before you can get the nonsmoker rates," he adds.
It's difficult to put a price on smoking for an individual. Considering just the cost of the cigarettes themselves, smoking a pack a day at $7 a pack will leave you $2,555 lighter in the wallet per year. If you instead invest that amount annually, after 30 years, you will have amassed $201,994, assuming a 6 percent return.
Drinking alcohol
Getty ImagesYearly cost: $1,560
Savings after 30 years of compounding interest: $123,331
Unlike smoking, casual drinking won't drive up insurance costs. But heavy drinking can cause liver damage and other health issues, says CFP professional Anna Molin, an independent insurance agent with Huntington & Wheatsworth insurance and financial services firm in Towaco, N.J.
"They will do a blood and urine specimen (during insurance medical underwriting)," she says. "(Alcohol) is tested in there, same as drugs. That could increase your premium," though how much depends on the level of the damage.
Drinkers who get behind the wheel and land a conviction of a DUI (driving under the influence) or DWI, (driving while intoxicated) will also have to cough up around $10,000 in fines, bail, towing, insurance, legal fees, treatment and license reinstatement costs, according to the Georgia Department of Behavioral Health and Developmental Disabilities.
Drinking can still take a financial toll even if it's done in moderation. Consume five drinks per week at a cost of $6 per drink (budget more if you're swigging cocktails versus beer or wine), and you'll rack up a $1,560 tab by the end of the year. If you instead invest that amount annually, after 30 years, you will have amassed $123,331, assuming a 6 percent return.
Poor eating habits
Getty ImagesYearly cost: $432 to $4,879
Savings after 30 years of compounding interest: $34,153 to $385,725
More than 1 in 3 U.S. adults is obese and therefore more prone to obesity-related health conditions, including heart disease, stroke, Type 2 diabetes and certain types of cancer, reports the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. They're also prone to higher health and life insurance costs, medical expenses, food and clothing costs, decreased productivity, and lost wages from missing work.
A study by researchers at George Washington University in Washington, D.C., estimates that extra pounds cost the average overweight man $524 per year and the average overweight woman $432. For the obese, costs dramatically increase. GWU estimates that the annual cost of being obese in the United States is $2,646 for men and $4,879 for women.
Weight issues not only drive up costs; they can also prevent consumers from getting the coverage they need, says Kappers.
"Now you see diabetes and weight issues at the top of the reasons why people are getting declined (for life insurance coverage)," he says. "They're hand in hand."
Overspending
Getty ImagesYearly cost: $1,200
Savings after 30 years of compounding interest: $94,870
"Human beings are simply wired to spend," says Jean Chatzky, author of eight personal finance books and head of the online financial literacy program Money School. "Our brains get a lot of pleasure out of rewards that we can have right now and very little, if any, pleasure out of waiting for things."
That may partly explain why the U.S. savings rate is currently a dismal 2.5 percent, according to the Bureau of Economic Analysis. Research shows that overspending isn't just fun; it's easy to do without noticing. According to a survey from the life insurance and capital management company Country Financial, more than 1 in 5 respondents said they spend more than they earn for at least half the year, but only 9 percent classified themselves as living beyond their means.
"If it's a minor problem ... then track your spending for a little while. You'll see where the holes in your budget are and should be able to stop yourself," says Chatzky.
Keep in mind that overspending costs you in the long term, too. Exceed your paycheck by just $100 per month -- the equivalent of a modest date night -- and you'll rack up expenses of $1,200 per year.
Procrastinating
Getty ImagesYearly cost: $600
Savings after 30 years of compounding interest: $47,435
We're wired to overspend, but we're also naturally inclined to put off things we don't want to do until it's too late. Witness the hordes who don't sign up for their 401(k) plans even though they get matching contributions from their employers. Even modest procrastination comes at a cost. Lose $50 monthly to an unused gym membership or grocery coupons that never got clipped, and you'll lose $600 per year.
"If the cost of procrastinating something is high enough, you won't do it," says Dean Karlan, an economics professor at Yale University and co-founder of the goal-setting site, stickK.com.
One way to avoid procrastinating, Karlan says, is to make the cost of skipping that to-do item so high that you won't avoid doing it. Sites such as stickK and apps such as GymPact allow procrastinators to attach a financial reward (or punishment) to their goals. But for incentives to work, Karlan says you have to want to change first.
"There is some needed self-reflection for any true behavior change," he says. "It doesn't have to be superdeep and intense, but there does need to be some 'aha!' moment."
http://finance.yahoo.com/news/how-much-do-bad-habits-cost--203305526.html
By Christina Couch | Bankrate.comA cigarette here, a few drinks there and choosing potato chips over baby
carrots all add up. Indulging in vices is often portrayed as the fun
part of life, but letting bad habits go unchecked can have a deleterious
effect on your wallet -- not to mention your health.But don't worry; you can change. A study by researchers at University College London in the United Kingdom shows that it takes a little more than two months on average to break a bad habit and form a new one.
The first step to kicking a bad habit is to understand exactly how it impacts you. Here's how a few of the most common bad habits wreak havoc on your budget every year. Bankrate shows how you can reverse the trend and amass some serious money instead by annually investing those funds in a long-term savings vehicle that returns a modest 6 percent a year on average.
Smoking cigarettes
Getty ImagesYearly cost: $2,555Savings after 30 years of compounding interest: $201,994
Cigarettes retail for about $5 to $12 a pack, depending on where you live. But factor in increased medical expenses, insurance costs and the impact of secondhand smoke to society, and the real price increases dramatically. Researchers from Duke University and the University of South Florida estimate that, for a woman, the all-inclusive cost of smoking over a lifetime is $106,000; for a man, $220,000. This includes social costs imposed on others via Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security.
Richard Kappers, director of marketing at Cigna, says smoking not only drives up life insurance costs by 20 percent and increases health insurance expenses, it can also impact your ability to qualify for either.
But renouncing the habit pays off. Quitting smoking at age 39 can reduce the "excess risk of death from any cause" by up to 90 percent, according to a January 2013 article in The New England Journal of Medicine, and can qualify you for the same insurance rates as nonsmokers, says Kappers.
"Generally, they want you to be tobacco-free for 12 months before you can get the nonsmoker rates," he adds.
It's difficult to put a price on smoking for an individual. Considering just the cost of the cigarettes themselves, smoking a pack a day at $7 a pack will leave you $2,555 lighter in the wallet per year. If you instead invest that amount annually, after 30 years, you will have amassed $201,994, assuming a 6 percent return.
Drinking alcohol
Getty ImagesYearly cost: $1,560Savings after 30 years of compounding interest: $123,331
Unlike smoking, casual drinking won't drive up insurance costs. But heavy drinking can cause liver damage and other health issues, says CFP professional Anna Molin, an independent insurance agent with Huntington & Wheatsworth insurance and financial services firm in Towaco, N.J.
"They will do a blood and urine specimen (during insurance medical underwriting)," she says. "(Alcohol) is tested in there, same as drugs. That could increase your premium," though how much depends on the level of the damage.
Drinkers who get behind the wheel and land a conviction of a DUI (driving under the influence) or DWI, (driving while intoxicated) will also have to cough up around $10,000 in fines, bail, towing, insurance, legal fees, treatment and license reinstatement costs, according to the Georgia Department of Behavioral Health and Developmental Disabilities.
Drinking can still take a financial toll even if it's done in moderation. Consume five drinks per week at a cost of $6 per drink (budget more if you're swigging cocktails versus beer or wine), and you'll rack up a $1,560 tab by the end of the year. If you instead invest that amount annually, after 30 years, you will have amassed $123,331, assuming a 6 percent return.
Poor eating habits
Getty ImagesYearly cost: $432 to $4,879Savings after 30 years of compounding interest: $34,153 to $385,725
More than 1 in 3 U.S. adults is obese and therefore more prone to obesity-related health conditions, including heart disease, stroke, Type 2 diabetes and certain types of cancer, reports the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. They're also prone to higher health and life insurance costs, medical expenses, food and clothing costs, decreased productivity, and lost wages from missing work.
A study by researchers at George Washington University in Washington, D.C., estimates that extra pounds cost the average overweight man $524 per year and the average overweight woman $432. For the obese, costs dramatically increase. GWU estimates that the annual cost of being obese in the United States is $2,646 for men and $4,879 for women.
Weight issues not only drive up costs; they can also prevent consumers from getting the coverage they need, says Kappers.
"Now you see diabetes and weight issues at the top of the reasons why people are getting declined (for life insurance coverage)," he says. "They're hand in hand."
Overspending
Getty ImagesYearly cost: $1,200Savings after 30 years of compounding interest: $94,870
"Human beings are simply wired to spend," says Jean Chatzky, author of eight personal finance books and head of the online financial literacy program Money School. "Our brains get a lot of pleasure out of rewards that we can have right now and very little, if any, pleasure out of waiting for things."
That may partly explain why the U.S. savings rate is currently a dismal 2.5 percent, according to the Bureau of Economic Analysis. Research shows that overspending isn't just fun; it's easy to do without noticing. According to a survey from the life insurance and capital management company Country Financial, more than 1 in 5 respondents said they spend more than they earn for at least half the year, but only 9 percent classified themselves as living beyond their means.
"If it's a minor problem ... then track your spending for a little while. You'll see where the holes in your budget are and should be able to stop yourself," says Chatzky.
Keep in mind that overspending costs you in the long term, too. Exceed your paycheck by just $100 per month -- the equivalent of a modest date night -- and you'll rack up expenses of $1,200 per year.
Procrastinating
Getty ImagesYearly cost: $600Savings after 30 years of compounding interest: $47,435
We're wired to overspend, but we're also naturally inclined to put off things we don't want to do until it's too late. Witness the hordes who don't sign up for their 401(k) plans even though they get matching contributions from their employers. Even modest procrastination comes at a cost. Lose $50 monthly to an unused gym membership or grocery coupons that never got clipped, and you'll lose $600 per year.
"If the cost of procrastinating something is high enough, you won't do it," says Dean Karlan, an economics professor at Yale University and co-founder of the goal-setting site, stickK.com.
One way to avoid procrastinating, Karlan says, is to make the cost of skipping that to-do item so high that you won't avoid doing it. Sites such as stickK and apps such as GymPact allow procrastinators to attach a financial reward (or punishment) to their goals. But for incentives to work, Karlan says you have to want to change first.
"There is some needed self-reflection for any true behavior change," he says. "It doesn't have to be superdeep and intense, but there does need to be some 'aha!' moment."
http://finance.yahoo.com/news/how-much-do-bad-habits-cost--203305526.html
Thursday, June 20, 2013
35 STATES SO FAR
One to forward!
Governors
of 35 states have filed suit against the Federal Government for
imposing unlawful burdens upon them. It only takes 38 (of the 50) States
to convene a Constitutional Convention.
This will take less than thirty seconds to read. If you agree, please pass it on. This is an idea that we should address.
For
too long we have been too complacent about the workings of Congress.
The latest is to exempt themselves from the Healthcare Reform that
passed ... in all of its forms. Somehow, that doesn't seem logical. We
do not have an elite that is above the law. I truly don't care if they
are Democrat, Republican, Independent or whatever . The self-serving
must stop.
If
each person that receives this will forward it on to 15 people, in
three days, most people in The United States of America will have the
message. This is one proposal that really should be passed around.
Proposed
28th Amendment to the United States Constitution: "Congress shall make
no law that applies to the citizens of the United States that does not
apply equally to the Senators and/or Representatives; and, Congress
shall make no law that applies to the Senators and/or Representatives
that does not apply equally to the citizens of the United States ..."
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Kuala Lumpur based illustrator Tang Yau Hoong pairs his illustrations with a famous quotes
Famous Quotes are Paired with Clever Illustrations
In one of our favorite new prints, Hoong takes one of Steve Jobs' famous quotes, "Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish" and illustrates it by putting two half eaten apples next to each other. Within the negative space, one can subtly make out Steve Jobs' silhouette.
As he tells us, "Most of them are old illustrations that I redrew to match the style I was looking for and the meaning of the corresponding quote. One day, I was browsing through old designs when I thought about giving them new life. Here is the result. Only the illustration of Steve Jobs' quote is brand new, which triggered the project."
If you enjoyed these posters, make sure to check out Evan Robertson's underlined book quote illustrations, here and here.
You can pick up these prints over at Hoong's shop.
Monday, June 17, 2013
Some Americans are starting to get pissed!
Some Americans are starting to get pissed! It's like when we were over in Germany back in the 70's. Old Hog Face used to tell us how we wouldn't stand a chance if the Russians came through the Fulda Gap. We Americans are soft, laying around the barracks all the time. The Russians trained 30 days a month, in the field, living in tents, crawling through the mud and dirt every day. Finally one day I told old Hog Face, "NO! You're wrong Top! The Russians are used to that. It's nothing to them. You take us Americans out of our warm barracks, out of our day rooms, away from our color TV, poolt tables, beer machines, etc. We're gonna be PISSED!!!! God help those Russians!"
A PROBLEM WE SENIORS COULD SOLVE
Drafting
Guys Over 60
This is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier... New Direction for any war: Send to the Service Vets over 60!
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards.
Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.
For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a month, leaving us more than 280,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are bad-tempered and impatient, and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.
An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.
If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.
Let us old guys track down those terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with bad attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.
HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!! You think MEN have attitudes??
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!
Send this to all of your senior friends...it's in big type so they can read it.
Sunday, June 16, 2013
A WEALTHY LAWYER
One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road-side. He ordered his driver to stop, and he got out to investigate.
Why are you eating grass? he asked one man.
We don™t have any money for food, the poor man replied.
Oh, well, you can come with me to my house, instructed the lawyer.
But, sir, I have a wife and two children with me!
Bring them along! replied the lawyer.
He turned to the other man and said: You come with us, too.
But I have a wife and six children, the second man answered.
Bring them as well replied the lawyer.
They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says: Sir you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.
The lawyer replied: Glad to do it. You™ll love my place; the grass is almost a foot tall.
Why are you eating grass? he asked one man.
We don™t have any money for food, the poor man replied.
Oh, well, you can come with me to my house, instructed the lawyer.
But, sir, I have a wife and two children with me!
Bring them along! replied the lawyer.
He turned to the other man and said: You come with us, too.
But I have a wife and six children, the second man answered.
Bring them as well replied the lawyer.
They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says: Sir you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.
The lawyer replied: Glad to do it. You™ll love my place; the grass is almost a foot tall.
18 Microwave Snacks In A Mug
1. Coffee Cup Quiche
Image by Bill Hogan/Chicago Tribune/MCT
Get the recipe from The Saint Louis Post.
Get the recipe from Spark Recipes.
No-hassle brunch for one. Find the recipe for french toast here.
Find the recipe for “Baked” Oatmeal on Food and Whine.
Find the recipe here.
6. Coffee Cup Coffeecake
Image by Bill Hogan/Chicago Tribune/MCT
Find the recipe for coffee cake here.
Use up overripe bananas with this recipe from Pass the Sushi.
DIY Easy Mac here.
Yes, you can even make meatloaf. Find the recipe here.
Find the recipe for chilaquiles in a mug here.
Peanut butter pie mousse, hot fudge, and whipped cream all in one cozy mug. Find the recipe here.
O-M-G. Get the recipe from Live, Love, Pasta.
Find the recipe here.
Find the recipe for s’mores in a mug here.
Top your hot cookie with ice cream and hot fudge and then serve. Get the recipe from No.2 Pencil.
Make this strawberry pie in a mug in the microwave or get fancy and use the oven. Get the recipe from How Sweet It Is.
You can make this cake in just two minutes with the recipe from Babble.
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