Friday, April 7, 2017

PIX-N-TOONZ-N-STUFF 040717


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As part of Democrats’ ongoing campaign to sabotage the workings of government in a childish reaction to last fall’s election results, a bill has passed the state senate officially declaring California to be a sanctuary state, in which local and state law enforcement will actually be prevented by law from helping federal officials enforce immigration law.
Already illegal aliens cost California $25.3 billion per year. This number will continue to skyrocket.
As noted previously, California could add 4 million acre-feet of water storage capacity for only $9 billion. But it chooses instead to spend its money providing welfare benefits and prison facilities for illegal aliens, who are transforming the demographics of the state.


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The Difference Between Sex Change Operations and Severing Spinal Cords
Once a man can declare himself to be a woman, demand that society pander to this delusion with feminine programs, and have doctors traditionally sworn to “First do no harm” chemically and surgically deform him into a parody of the opposite sex in a grotesque attempt to force objective reality to comply with his depraved fantasies, the floodgates of insanity have officially opened:
Another significant form of body identity disorder is similar but different, and more common than many might think.


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Cadbury Drops the Word “Easter” From Easter Egg Hunt
Never mind the War on Christmas until December. This is the season for the War on Easter:
Cadbury, founded by Quaker John Cadbury in 1824, is dropping the word “Easter” from its Easter egg hunts this year. Instead, this year’s Easter campaign will be called the “Cadbury’s Great British Egg Hunt.”


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A new study shows that 91% of the media’s coverage of President Trump is negative.

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Gratuitously Corrected for Grammar: Who Are You Going to Call?
Having already launched a bias complaint hotline, The University of Oklahoma has now created a “bias response team“.
In my head, I’m picturing teddy bears and security blankets.



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I Don’t Know Why They Had to Be TOLD to Do This
A new law requires the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration to advance research on high-tech forecasts and computer models, with an emphasis on accuracy and longer warning times for major weather events


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Tom finally decided to tie the knot with his longtime girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was welding some stuff in the garage just for fun. His new wife was standing there at the bench watching him.

After a long period of silence she finally spoke, “Honey, I’ve just been thinking, now that we are married maybe it’s time you quit spending all your time out here in the shop. You probably should just consider selling all your tools along with your gun collection and that stupid vintage Harley.”

Tom got a horrified look on his face and began choking.

She said, “Darling, what’s wrong?”

He replied, “There for a minute you were starting to sound like my ex-wife.”

“Ex-wife!” she screamed, “YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!”

Tom replied: “I wasn’t.”



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The king wanted to go fishing. He called on the royal weather forecaster and inquired as to the weather forecast for the next few hours.
The weatherman assured him that there was no chance of rain in the coming days, so the king went fishing with his wife, the queen. On the way he met a farmer on his donkey.
Upon seeing the king the farmer said, "Your Majesty, you should return to the palace! In just a short time I expect a huge amount of rain to fall in this area".
The king was polite and considerate, he replied: "I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an extensively educated and experienced professional. And besides, I pay him very high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him."
So the king continued on his way.
A short time later however, a torrential rain fell from the sky. The King and Queen were totally soaked and their entourage chuckled upon seeing them in such a shameful condition. Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the professional.
He then summoned the farmer and offered him the prestigious and high paying role of royal forecaster.
The farmer said, "Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey's ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain."
So the king hired the donkey.
Thus began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in the government and occupy its highest and most influential positions. The practice is unbroken to this date and the democrat symbol was born.


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2 comments:

  1. The entire state of California a sanctuary state? Outstanding!!

    The rest of the USA can nab the illegals and ship them to California.

    No bad publicity from leftists. No protracted and expensive deportation hearings. No problems.

    Give 'em each 50 bucks and a bottle of tequila at the California state line and wish them well.

    You're welcome.

    ReplyDelete