Sunday, April 9, 2017

PIX-N-TOONZ-N-STUFF 040917


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Big asteroid to whiz (safely) by Earth this month
A large asteroid is hurtling toward Earth -- but there's no need to duck and cover. The space rock, known by the very dull name of 2014 JO25 will safely fly by Earth on April 19, according to NASA.


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Fresh Express Recalls Batch After Dead Bat Found In Prepackaged Salad
An unwelcome discovery by a couple of salad eaters included a sordid new ingredient. On Saturday, the company Fresh Express announced a precautionary recall of some of its prepackaged salad mixes, after two people in Florida say they found a dead bat ..


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Clashes as Venezuelans Pour Into Caracas Streets in Anti-Maduro Protest
CARACAS, Venezuela - Venezuela's government fired tear gas and rubber bullets at some of the thousands of opponents of President Nicolas Maduro who poured into the streets of Caracas amid a weeklong protest movement that shows little sign of losing ...


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PLZ SOMEONE STOP THE CRAZY!!!




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'The Walking Dead' Teases Bringing Back A Fan-Favorite In The Future
'The Walking Dead' is teasing a special return for a fan-favorite, but we have some better ideas on how to make it happen.


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WILD CONSPIRACIES MUCH???
MSNBC host's conspiracy theory: What if Putin planned the Syrian chemical attack to help Trump?
A volley of U.S. cruise missiles had barely been launched into Syria before the Internet filled up with fact-free theories about the real reason for an international ..


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Palm Sunday bombings kill dozens at Christian churches in Egypt
(CNN) Bombs targeted two Coptic churches in Egypt as the Christian faithful observed Palm Sunday, one of the most important days on the religion's calendar.

Pope Tawadros escaped unharmed


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Shark sightings force evacuation in Fort Lauderdale Beach


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Spread the Stupidity

Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.



Only in America .....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.


Only in America ......do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.


 Only in America ......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.


Only in America ..........do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.. 


Only in America .....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.


EVER WONDER ...
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens
 our skin?


Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?


Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins
Lottery'?


Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?


 Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?


 Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?


 Why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?


Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?


Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?


Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? 


Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?


You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!


Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?


Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?


I like this one!!!
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?


If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

!!!Spread the Stupidity!!!



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SAN FRANCISCO (AP) — Federal immigration officials said Friday they were deporting a California prostitute to Canada after she completed a jail sentence for involuntary manslaughter for giving a fatal heroin shot to a Google executive she had been entertaining aboard his yacht.

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MARYLAND (WCMH) — The day after a confidential source claimed a man was sexually assaulting children and videotaping it, police got a warrant and entered the man’s home. There, investigators say they found videos showing 31-year-old Kyle Thompson molesting two girls under 5 years old, according to WUSA. NBC Washington reported Thompson dated mothers and grandmothers and preyed on their young children.

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Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on a park bench one morning.

The 87-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80-year-old was amazed at the guy's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.

The 87-year-old said, "Well, I eat Jewish rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies. You'll feel like 40 again!"

So, on the way home the 80-year-old stopped at the bakery. As he was looking around, the saleslady asked if he needed any help. He said, "Do you have any Jewish rye bread?"

She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"

He said, "I want five loaves."


She said, "My goodness, five loaves! By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it'll be hard."

He replied, "I can't believe everybody knows about this shit but me!


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From Hong Kong: A 10 Year-Old Boy And 7 Year-Old Girl Sing
'You Raise Me Up.' ~~~ Is unbelievable, beautiful



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INTERESTING

1947 - 1948
This should give you a laugh..
Just thought you should know...

The year was 1947. Some of you will recall that on July 8, 1947, a little more than 69 years ago, numerous witnesses claim that an Unidentified Flying Object, (UFO), with five aliens aboard, crashed onto a sheep and mule ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico

This is a well-known incident that many say has long been covered-up by the U.S. Air Force, as well as other Federal Agencies and Organizations.

However, what you may NOT know is that in the month of April, year 1948, nine months after the alien crash, the following people were born:

Barrack Obama Sr.
Albert A. Gore, Jr.
Hillary Rodham
William J. Clinton
John F. Kerry
Howard Dean
Nancy Pelosi
Dianne Feinstein
Charles E. Schumer
Barbara Boxer
Joe Biden

This is the obvious consequence of aliens breeding with sheep and jack-a***s.
I truly hope this bit of information clears up a lot of things for
you. It did for me.

Now you can stop wondering why they support the bill to help all Illegal Aliens


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