Saturday, May 27, 2017

PIX-N-TOONZ-N-STUFF 052817

SUNDAY 052817 SUNDAY 052817 SUNDAY 052817 SUNDAY 052817 SUNDAY 052817 SUNDAY 052817 SUNDAY 052817 SUNDAY 052817 SUNDAY 052817




May 28 is the 148th day of the year (149th in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. There are 217 days remaining until the end of the year.


1959: Monkeys survive space mission
Two monkeys become the first living creatures to survive a space flight. MONKEYS IN SPACE!!







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Two Pennsylvania drug counselors, who had been charged with helping addicts, instead succumbed to their own addictions when they fatally overdosed on opioids at a recovery center.

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The skydiver who fell to his death in a California vineyard was wearing a specialized jumpsuit that resembles a flying squirrel and was undertaking an extreme but growing sport that can send people soaring through the air at speeds of more than 200 mph. SORRY ABOUT THAT, ROCKY!

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Gregg Allman, founding member of the Allman Brothers Band and the Southern blues rock group's longtime keyboardist and vocalist, died at the age of 69 in his home in Savannah according to his official website. Gregg struggled with many health issues over the past several years. During that time, Gregg considered being on the road playing music with his brothers and solo band for his beloved fans, essential medicine for his soul. Playing music lifted him up and kept him going during the toughest of times.




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One of the perks of military life is the opportunity to see the world. If you’re lucky enough to get orders to Germany, you will learn that pieces of Germany will stay with you for years to come.


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Many whiskies under twenty bucks are absolutely terrible. There are, though, a number of great tasting and affordable whiskies out there. While the majority of the list is composed of bourbon (being affordable and delicious seems to be as American as, well, bourbon), we have worked to find other types of whiskies as well, for those that want a little variety on their liquor shelf.

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While golfing, Bob Bolic, an elderly duffer accidentally overturned his electric golf cart.

A very attractive mature lady, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out, "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay thanks," he replied as he pulled himself out of the twisted golf cart.

She said, "Come up to my villa, rest a while, and I'll help you get the cart up later." Bob took notice her silky bathrobe was partially open,
revealing what appeared to be a very nice figure.

"That's mighty nice of you," the senior gentleman answered, "but I don't think my wife would like it."

"Oh, come on now, " she insisted.

She was so pretty, and very, very persuasive.

The old guy was weak as he replied: "Well okay," and headed to her place.

After a couple of Manhattans, Bob thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better now But I know my wife is going to be really upset. So I'd better go now."

"Don't be silly!" she said with a smile, letting her robe fall more open.
"Stay for a while. She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"

"Still under the golf cart, I guess!"


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Turkey’s efforts at international diplomacy were clearly bolstered when the Tyrant of Turkey, President Recep Tayyip Erdogan, gained a White House audience with President Trump. During that meeting the two leaders supposedly discussed the release of American Pastor Andrew Brunson. (Which still hasn’t happened, by the way.) Many observers still seem to believe that Erdogan is holding out because he would like the United States to turn over cleric Fethullah Gulen, currently residing in Pennsylvania. But now Erodgan may be adding another name to his list. NBA center for the Oklahoma City Thunder, Enes Kanter, has an arrest warrant out for him in Turkey and their president really wants him brought to Ankara for “questioning.” (The Oklahoman)

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ONE OF THE CRAZIEST THINGS SHE'S EVER SAID!!





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According to a lawsuit filed this week in the District Court of Brazaria County, Texas, the plantiffs allege that CHIPOTLE store manager Joanny Castillo, 18, repeatedly installed a video-recording spy camera in the women's bathroom area and, when informed of the Castillo's actions, the restaurant’s corporate office tried to cover up the incidents. According to the suit, an unnamed woman and her 5-year-old daughter were filmed taking off their clothes and going to the restroom.





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The New York Post reports that Jacob Schwartz, 29, an employee of NY mayor de Blasio’s administration, was busted for child porn — for downloading and keeping 3,000 images and 89 videos on a laptop, including those of “young nude females between the approximate ages of 6 months and 16, engaging in sexual conduct…on an adult male,” court papers say. Joie de vivre-LIBERAL STYLE!



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YIPEE!!! FREE MONEY FOR EVERTBODY!!!
From Yahoo: CEO Mark Zuckerberg called on the need to consider universal basic income for Americans during his Harvard Commencement Speech. Zuckerberg’s comments reflect those of other Silicon Valley bigwigs, including Sam Altman, the president of venture capital firm Y Combinator.


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GAMERS!


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You know you are an EXTREME Redneck When...
1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.
3. You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.
5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
6. Someone in your family died right after saying, ‘Hey, guys, watch this.’
7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8. Your wife’s hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
9. Your junior prom offered day care.
10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are ‘Gentlemen, start your engines.’
11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
16. You can’t get married to your sweetheart because there’s a law against it.
17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

And in closing....

Two good ol’ boys in a Alabama trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local Nissan plant.

After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, “If’n I was to sneak over to your trailerSaturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin’ and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?”

The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, “Well, I don’t know about kin, but it would make us even.


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!!!EXPLICIT LANGUAGE !!!EXPLICIT LANGUAGE !!!EXPLICIT LANGUAGE !!!EXPLICIT LANGUAGE !!!EXPLICIT LANGUAGE 

!!!EXPLICIT LANGUAGE !!!EXPLICIT LANGUAGE !!!EXPLICIT LANGUAGE !!!EXPLICIT LANGUAGE !!!EXPLICIT LANGUAGE 


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