Saturday, June 24, 2017

PIX-N-TOONZ-N-STUFF 062517

SUNDAY 062517 SUNDAY 062517 SUNDAY 062517 SUNDAY 062517 SUNDAY 062517 SUNDAY 062517 SUNDAY 062517 SUNDAY 062517 






June 25 is the 176th day of the year (177th in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. There are 189 days remaining until the end of the year.

On June 25, 1876, Lt. Col. George A. Custer and his 7th Cavalry were slaughtered by Sioux and Cheyenne Indians in the Battle of Little Big Horn in Montana.

On This Date
1788 Virginia ratified the U.S. Constitution.
1868 Florida, Alabama, Louisiana, Georgia, North Carolina and South Carolina were readmitted to the Union.
1950 War broke out on the Korean peninsula as forces from the communist North invaded the South.
1951 The first commercial color telecast took place as CBS transmitted a one-hour special from New York to four other cities.
1962 The Supreme Court ruled that the use of an unofficial, nondenominational prayer in New York public schools was unconstitutional.
1967 The Beatles performed a new song, "All You Need Is Love," during a live international telecast.
1973 Former White House Counsel John Dean began testifying before the Senate Watergate Committee.
1991 The Yugoslav republics of Croatia and Slovenia declared their independence.





====
====
Hacktivist group Anonymous, who have previously taken shots at Isis, Donald Trump and the Westboro Baptist Church, are claiming that Nasa is about to announce they've discovered alien life.
According to the group's latest YouTube video, during the last meeting of the U.S. Science, Space and Technology committee a Nasa spokesperson, Professor Thomas Zurbuchen, stated:
"Our civilisation is on the verge of discovering evidence of alien life in the cosmos. Taking into account all of the different activities and missions that are searching for alien life, we are on the verge of making one of the most profound, unprecedented discoveries in history."



====
LAS VEGAS (KSNV NEWS3LV) —  A taco shop cook is lucky to be alive after someone stabbed him 14 times. He says a customer angered over nachos started stabbing employees. Marcos Mendiola, 40, sits in a UMC hospital bed wondering how an argument over carne asada and chicken nacho toppings caused a vicious stabbing spree. Two of his coworkers had their arms slashed. The Roberto's Taco Shop cook took 14 stabs: seven to the stomach, four to the back, two to the head, and one to the arm.
CLEAR CASE OF TACO LOCO!


====
Per The Guardian:
It was about gender equality and teaching people not to sexualize women’s bodies. We’re always asked to do things to make guys more comfortable. If my boobs make you uncomfortable, then why are you looking at me in that way? This was to show girls that they can be comfortable with their bodies without worrying about making someone else uncomfortable. I wasn’t doing it for attention, and I did not expect that it would get so big. PROB A LOT OF THEM GOT BIG. 
THAT'LL LEARN'EM!



====
Over the last 10 years, the SSA has paid out $1 billion to 22,426 representative payees who did not have a social security number and who the SSA did not follow its policy to get a paper application from. “[U]nless it takes corrective action, we estimate SSA will pay about $182.5 million in benefits, annually, to representative payees who do not have an SSN or paper application supporting their selection,” the inspector general said.
This is the kind of abuse that has been going on in the federal government for years, particularly over the last eight years. Big spender Barack Obama seemed to be unwilling to make necessary cuts in our budget or to even evaluate where our money is going.




====
DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME!





====
According to The Hill: Liberal activist Michael Moore lashed out at national Democrats on Wednesday after the party fell short in a special House runoff election in Georgia despite spending tens of millions of dollars( MORE LIKE $30M) on a race that was viewed as a referendum on President Trump. Moore and others on the left are furious with what they view as a rudderless Democratic Party that has failed to develop a new strategy or message in the wake of Hillary Clinton’s surprising election loss in November. Moore ripped the Democratic National Committee and its House campaign arm for having “no message, no plan, no leaders.” Democratic leaders “hate the resistance,” Moore said, underscoring the lingering tension between the party’s grassroots base and the establishment in Washington.


====




====
Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) discussed how the free market would best lower insurance costs in an interview with MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” on Friday. “What I’d like to do is legalize inexpensive insurance, and you should be able to get insurance for $1 a day. I mean, you really should,” Paul said. “The insurance companies make all the money; all of this is predicated upon still propping up the insurance companies.”


====

DEMOCRAT FOR SURE!


====
June 23 (UPI) -- A thief who stole a mummified toe used in a Canadian hotel's signature cocktail returned the bizarre ingredient and offered an apology. Royal Canadian Mounted Police in Yukon announced the "sour toe," used in the Downtown Hotel in Dawson City's "sourtoe cocktail," had been returned. "On Tuesday afternoon, June 20, Dawson City RCMP received a phone call from the alleged suspect, stating that he had placed the toe in the mail, addressed to the Downtown Hotel," police said. "The man then called the Downtown Hotel and provided the same message to staff, along with a verbal apology."


====




====
Angela Merkel appears determined to drive her country to ruin, and to make sure that no one realizes what she is doing until it is far, far too late. If Germany is to have any hope of survival as a free nation, her reelection bid must be defeated. But that looks highly unlikely. “German Police Accused of Covering up Child Rape in Asylum Home,” by Chris Tomlinson, Breitbart, June 20, 2017:
Police and the local government in Herford, Germany, have been accused of covering up the rape of a child at an asylum home for almost two weeks.
The alleged rape occurred two weeks ago at the former British Harewood Barracks which was recently converted into an asylum shelter. The man accused of the rape, a Ghanian of unknown age, is said to have sexually abused a 10-year-old girl originally from a former Soviet republic, local newspaper Westfalen-Blatt reports.
The 10-year-old is said to have been raped so brutally she had to be taken to a nearby hospital.
Senior prosecutor Udo Vennewald said: “He is a man from Ghana. We’ve got a warrant, and the man is sitting behind bars.”




====
LIFE IS GREAT!!!
I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.
Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.

 
You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone? That's common sense leaving your body.
I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.

 
I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim” I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
Old age is coming at a really bad time.    When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.
The biggest lie I tell myself is…"I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

 
I don't have gray hair; I have "wisdom highlights." I'm just very wise.

 
Teach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just a piece of paper.

 
If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees.

 
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet.
Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice.
At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.
I am a Seenager. (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later.
I don’t have to go to school or work.
I get an allowance every month.
I have my own pad.
I don’t have a curfew.
I have a driver’s license and my own car.
I have ID that gets me into bars and the whisky store.
The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant.
And I don’t have acne.
Life is great. I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can't remember their names.




====
Teachers & Cops
These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system.
All teachers were reprimanded (but, boy, are these funny!)


1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

2. I would not allow this student to breed.

3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.

4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. (my favorite...)

5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

7. This child has been working with glue too much.

8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.

9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming..

10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.

12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.

These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers.
The comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you." (LOVE IT)

6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?" (MY FAVORITE)

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." ( National Crime Information Center )

13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....

16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.. Sign here."
AND PEOPLE DON'T THINK TEACHERS AND COPS HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR!!!


====
====















No comments:

Post a Comment