Saturday, August 5, 2017

PIX-N-TOONZ-N-STUFF 080617

SUNDAY 080617 SUNDAY 080617 
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SUNDAY 080617 SUNDAY 080617 





August 6 is the 218th day of the year (219th in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. There are 147 days remaining until the end of the year.




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Yes, you know that instant ramen isn't good for you, but studies have confirmed just how harmful the prepackaged food can really be. A study in the Journal of Nutrition links instant noodle consumption with heart risk, particularly in women. The researchers conducted a study in South Korea, where consumption of instant noodles is the highest in the world, with more than 10,700 people ranging in age from 19 to 64. The results? "Women who consume instant noodles frequently were found to be more likely to have metabolic syndrome - the group of risk factors, including obesity and high blood pressure, cholesterol, and blood sugar, that increase the risk of heart disease and diabetes."


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A 25-year-old Jewish girl tells her mum that she might be pregnant.

Very worried, the mother goes to the local pharmacy and buys a pregnancy test kit. The test confirms that her daughter is pregnant.

Shouting and crying, the mother says, "Who was the selfish swine that did this to you? I demand to know!

Without answering, the girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Bentley stops in front of their house. A middle-aged and very distinguished man steps out of the car and enters the house.


He sits in the lounge with the father and mother, and tells them, "Your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life."

He continues, "Additionally, if a girl is born I will bequeath two retail furniture stores, a deli, a chateau in France and a £1m bank account."

He continues, "If a boy is born my legacy will be a chain of jewellery stores and a £25m bank account."

"However, if there is a miscarriage I'm not sure what to do. What would you suggest?"

All silent at this point, the mother placed a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and told him


"You'll try again."



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My Boyfriend Made Me Wait For Sex
Erin Nicole,The Zoe Report Fri, Aug 4 11:20 AM PDT
A few months ago, something shocking happened. The guy I was dating refused to take things to the next level with me—sexually. He assured me he was crazy about me and explained that while he wanted to take that step at some point, he was hoping to wait until we had "built intimacy" before doing so. Say what? Needle-scratch. I was absolutely befuddled. IS IT WOMEN ARE MORE LIKE MEN NOW AND MEN MORE LIKE WOMEN??



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Russ and Sam, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.

One day Russ didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something..

But after Russ hadn't shown up for a week or so, Sam really got worried.

However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Sam didn't know where Russ lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.

A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Russ, but one day, Sam approached the park and-- lo and behold! --there sat Russ!

Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so.

Then he said, 'For crying out loud Russ, what in the world happened to you?'

Russ replied, 'I have been in jail.'

'Jail!' cried Sam. What in the world for?'

'Well,' Russ said, 'you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?'

'Yeah,' said Sam, 'I remember her. What about her?'

'Well, the little gold-digging witch figured I was rich and she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pleaded 'guilty'.

'The judge gave me 30 days for perjury.'



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Rep. Maxine Waters' 'reclaiming my time' moment goes viral. The California congresswoman's stern remark during a congressional meeting, transformed into a viral gospel remix, is catching fire on social media.


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??? Burmese pythons have few natural predators, alligators, black bears, cougars and tribesmen in India taught to hunt them since they are three. There are tens and thousands terrorizing wild life. Preying on all the native wild life. They are seemingly everywhere. The woman found seven foot python under clothing. We know there's a lot of missing cats in that neighborhood. But in reality they're hard to find. If sources Florida is thinking so Florida is thinking outside of the box. And in the brains of these experts from India's renowned snake catching tribe. Aha! They have been hunting snake since they were three years old. They know things they can't even explain to us.


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How to get started with Linux: A beginner's guide- The world of Linux is ready to welcome you, with a shower of free open-source software you can use on any PC: hundreds of active Linux distributions, and dozens of different desktop environments you could run on them. It’s a far cry from the one-size-fits-all, this-is-just-what-comes-with-your-PC vision of Windows. Everything from software installation to hardware drivers works differently on Linux, though, which can be daunting. Take heart—you don’t even need to install Linux on your PC to get started. Here’s everything you need to know.


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Several witnesses said the shootings happened after about half a dozen men started shouting and acting threateningly on the bridge that leads into the park from 19th and Church streets. The men appeared to be in their late teens or early 20s and some of them wore bandannas that covered all but their eyes, the witnesses said.


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NOT PORN BUT CAUTION IF FEMALE NUDITY OFFENDS







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DAYTONA BEACH, FL (RNN) There’ll be no more days at the beach for a 73-year-old Florida man who was banned from every beach in Volusia County for wearing a T-shirt and handing out cards that said “sugardaddy seeking his sugarbaby.” Richard Basarbara was turned in by the mom of a 16-year-old girl who was standing with a couple of 18-year-old friends, one of whom he handed a card to. The girl said Basbara asked all the girls their ages, then held up a bra pad and said he was looking for someone to fill it, according to the Daytona Beach News-Journal.


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At Friday night services, Morris went to his friend Irving and said, "Irving, I need a favor - I'm sleeping with the rabbi's wife. Can you hold him in temple for an hour after services for me?"
Irving not very fond of the idea, but being Morris' lifelong friend, he reluctantly agreed.
After services, he struck up a conversation with the rabbi asking him all sorts of stupid questions in an effort to keep him occupied.
After some time, the wise rabbi became suspicious and asked, "Irving what are you really up to with all this?"
Irving, filled with feelings of guilt and remorse, confessed to the rabbi "I'm sorry Rabbi, my friend Morris is sleeping with your wife right now and asked me to keep you occupied."
The wise rabbi smiled and, putting a brotherly hand on Irving's shoulder, said "Irving I think you'd better hurry home, my wife died two years ago!"



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A popular TV series that showed a teen ending her life may have triggered a surge in online searches for suicide, including how to do it. That’s according to a new study about the show “13 Reasons Why.” Netflix released all 13 episodes on March 31. Researchers found that for almost three weeks afterward, there were at least 900,000 more than expected Google searches including the word “suicide.” That’s a 19-percent increase based on forecasts using Google Trends and historical search trends. Searches included suicide methods, suicide hotlines and suicide prevention.


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5 MASCULINE MOMENTS 


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Millennials Unearth an Amazing Hack to Get Free TV! Dan Sisco has discovered a technology that allows him to access half a dozen major TV channels, completely free. “I was just kind of surprised that this is technology that exists,” says Mr. Sisco, 28 years old. “It’s been awesome. It doesn’t log out and it doesn’t skip.” Let’s hear a round of applause for TV antennas, often called “rabbit ears,” a technology invented roughly seven decades ago, long before there was even a cord to be cut, which had been consigned to the technology trash can along with cassette tapes and VCRs.



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Satan wants us tired, worn thin, and stressed. He wants us in debt up to our eyeballs, and our health failing because we can’t sleep enough, eat right, or handle our stress effectively. He wants husbands and wives fighting over finances, disrespectful teens who learned how to treat their parents based off Nickelodeon sitcoms, and thousands of young children sexually abused by the adults we’re so quick to place our trust in. He wants us busy, but not productive. He wants our plates full, but our tank empty. He wants us looking to society for what’s best for our families, not God’s word as a lamp to our feet. He wants the family unit ripped apart, and many times I look around and see us letting him. We’re not even trying to take a stand.


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My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me, it was her beautiful younger sister, Lucia. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight mini skirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me. I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate. She never did it around anyone else. One day she called me and asked me to come over. 'To check my Sister's wedding- invitations' she said. She was alone when I arrived, she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome any longer. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married. She said "Before you commit your life to my sister". Well, I was in total shock, and I couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom. If you want one last wild fling, just come up and have me". 

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a bee-line straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lord And behold, my entire future family was standing outside and they were all clapping! 

 With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me. He said, 'Sergio, we are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family my son. 


The moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car!

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