AIRFORCE GENERAL FIRED FOR DRUNKEN MOSCOW BENDER

The Air Force has just released its official report on its investigation into Maj. Gen. Michael Carey's July trip to Moscow, which got him fired in October. Carey oversaw three wings of nuclear-armed intercontinental ballistic missiles, with 450 ICBMs in all. At the time, the dismissal was reportedly over personal misconduct during the official trip. But "misconduct," it turns out, does not even come close.
The 42-page report is a doozy. It describes Carey as drinking heavily, spending an awful lot of time with two foreign women (a possible security risk), skipping meetings, complaining, offending the Russian hosts, at one point trying to perform with a band at a Moscow bar called La Cantina and generally acting a bit like a college kid on a semester abroad. The drinking got so bad that, according to the report, "one witness was concerned that Maj Gen Carey needed assistance standing." As a bonus, the report mentions Carey's impolitic comments about "Eric Snowden."
Here are some choice excerpts from the report.

AMAZING BRUCE LEE

THE PROBLEM IS MY JEANS ARE JUST TOO TIGHT!

WOMEN ARE LIKE BACON

OBAMA AT MANDELA MEMORIAL

OBAMA MOMENTS

REAL WOMEN

STL WILL TAKE YOUR BLOOD AGAINST YOUR WILL

DUMB THINGS HEARD AROUND TECH IN 2013

“Tech managers spend as much time worrying about how to hire talented female developers as they do worrying about how to hire a unicorn.”

‘misogyny’ is ‘hatred of women.’ It is not misogyny to tell a sexist joke, or to fail to take a woman seriously, or to enjoy boobies.”

“aw, you can’t feed your family on minimum wage? well who told you to start a fucking family when your skills are only worth minimum wage?

— Pax Dickinson, the ex-CTO of Business Insider, who was fired after his sexist, racist and homophobic Twitter musings went viral. Dickinson said his “jokes” were misunderstood.

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