REALLY BAD PUNS

A SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE:
We will heel you,
We will save your sole,

We will even dye for you.

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:Dr. Jones, at your cervix.

In a Podiatrist's office:Time wounds all heels.

At an Optometrist's Office:If you don't see what you're looking for, You've come to the right place.

On a Plumber's truck :
We repair what your husband fixed.

On another Plumber's truck:
Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :
Invite us to your next blowout.

On an Electrician's truck:
Let us remove your shorts.

In a Non-smoking Area:
If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.

On a Maternity Room door:
Push. Push. Push.

At a Car Dealership:
The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.

Outside a Muffler Shop:No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
Be back in 5 minutes.  Sit! Stay!

At the Electric Company:
We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time.
However, if you don't,  YOU will be de-lighted.

In a Restaurant window:
Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
Drive carefully. We'll wait.

At a Propane Filling Station:Thank Heaven for little grills.

In a Chicago Radiator Shop:Best place in town to take a leak.

And the best one for last:

Sign on the back of a Septic Tank Truck:
Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises