Nookie Green

Nookie Green

An Irish man went to confession at St. Patricks Catholic Church.

'Father' he confessed 'It has been one month since my last confession.  I had sex with Nookie Green twice last month.'

The priest sighed and told him 'You are forgiven.  Go say three Hail Marys.'

Soon another Irish man entered the confessional 'Father it has been two months since my last confession.  I have had sex with Nookie Green twice a week for the past two months.'

This time curiosity captured the priest 'And who is Nookie Green?'

'A new woman in the neighborhood' the sinner replied.

'Very well' sighed the priest 'Go say ten Hail Mary's.'

At mass the next morning as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a tall, voluptuous drop dead gorgeous redhead entered the sanctuary.  The eyes of every man in the church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest.  Her dress was green and very short and she wore matching shiny emerald green shoes.

The priest and altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and matching green shoes sat with her legs slightly apart but enough to see she was not wearing underwear.

The priest turned to the altar boy and whispered 'Is that Nookie Green?'

The bug eyed altar boy could not believe his ears but managed to stammer 'No Father, I think it is just a reflection from her shoes.'