POOR AUNT MILDRED

Aging Aunt Mildred was a 93-year-old woman who was  particularly despondent over the recent death of  her husband. She decided that she would just  kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be  best to get it over with quickly, she took out  his old Army pistol and made the decision to  shoot herself in the heart, since it was badly broken in the first place. Not  wanting to miss the vital organ and become a  vegetable and a burden to someone,she called her doctor's office to inquire as to just  exactly where the heart would be on a woman. The  doctor said, 'Your heart would be just below  your left breast'.

Later that night........ Mildred was admitted to the  hospital with a 
gunshot wound to her knee.