Sunday, February 27, 2022

GOOD STUFF YOU MAY HAVE MISSED 022722





















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Philosophers of the Century
~ Jean Kerr... 
The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats.
~ Prince Philip... 
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. 
~ Harrison Ford... 
Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself. 
~ Spike Milligan... 
The best cure for Sea Sickness is to sit under a tree. 
~ Jean Rostand... 
Kill one man and you're a murderer, kill a million and you're a conqueror. 
~ Arnold Schwarzenegger... 
Having more money doesn't make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I'm just as happy as when I had 48 million.
~Cheers WH Auden.. 
We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea.
~ Johnny Carson... 
If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead.
~ Steve Martin...
Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap.
~ Jimmy Durante... 
Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. 
~ Betsy Salkind... 
Men are like linoleum floors. Lay 'em right the first time and you can walk all over them for thirty years.
~ George Roberts...
The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone. 
~ Jonathan Winters... 
If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport.
~ Robert Benchley... 
I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it. 
~ John Glenn... 
As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.
~ David Letterman... 
America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.
~ Howard Hughes... 
I'm not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. Actually, I'm a billionaire. 
~Old Italian proverb... 
After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box 
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