Thursday, December 14, 2017

PIX-N-TOONZ-N-STUFF 121517

FRIDAY 121517 FRIDAY 121517 
FRIDAY 121517 FRIDAY 121517 
FRIDAY 121517 FRIDAY 121517 
FRIDAY 121517 FRIDAY 121517 


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Artie Lange is sitting in a NJ jail again, but it's not for drugs this time -- it's for missing a court date ... about a drug arrest. Cops busted the comedian Tuesday evening at his home in Hoboken, NJ for failing to appear in Essex County court. He was supposed to face charges of heroin possession and drug paraphernalia from his arrest in May. HOW FAR THEY FALL!!


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After the Los Angeles fire department announced on Tuesday that the Skirball fire began life as a cooking fire under a freeway about 20 miles from downtown, the homeless services community took a sharp intake of breath. “These kind of reports are never good for us in general,” said Laurie Craft, a director at Hope of the Valley, which runs the only winter shelter in the area where the Skirball fire started. Craft fears a backlash against the homeless community as a result of the disaster, which included the destruction of six Bel Air homes valued at $20m.


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After the death of American citizen Kate Steinle in 2015 by an illegal alien who had seven felonies and was deported five times, San Francisco Mayor Ed Lee vowed to maintain their sanctuary city policy. On November 30, the illegal alien who killed Kate was found not guilty of murder, manslaughter and assault with a firearm. He was convicted of being a felon in possession of a firearm. On Tuesday, Mayor Lee died of cardiac arrest- brought on by a bolt of lightning, no doubt. Kate Steinle unavailable for comment. From USA Today: San Francisco Mayor Edwin Lee, a champion of housing, civil rights and immigration issues, died Tuesday at 65.


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The Christmas Tradition

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.
Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.
When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor.. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

Not a lot of people know this.



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Salma Hayek says Weinstein threatened to kill her. Salma Hayek has come forward to accuse Harvey Weinstein of sexual harassment. The Oscar-nominated Mexican actress, whose films include Frida and Traffic, went public with her allegations on Wednesday, over two months after the movie honcho was first publicly accused of sexual misconduct in a New York Times piece. She shared her first-person story with the same publication in an op-ed titled “Harvey Weinstein Is My Monster Too.”


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Sarah Huckabee Sanders Embarrasses CNN’s Jim Acosta AGAIN During Press Briefing- "There's a very big difference between making honest mistakes and purposely misleading the American people." SEE SARAH BITCH SLAP ACOSTA HERE 


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WHO WOULDN'T WANT A WONDER BONER!!!




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There was the infamous Rolling Stone article ‘A Rape on Campus’ about the young woman identified as ‘Jackie’ that was gang-raped by the Duke University Lacrosse Team. It was determined to be a load of B.S. made up by ‘Jackie’ perhaps to get the attention of a fellow student.
So, you know, throw the entire Lacrosse team’s credibility and future opportunities under the bus because she felt ‘pressured’ to press forward with the fabricated story. And she walks free — we don’t even know her real name.
And then, of course, there’s Columbia’s ‘Mattress Girl’, Emma Sulkowicz, a performance artist that carried a twin mattress all over campus to show the burden of her alleged rape. If A Woman FABRICATES Sexual Misconduct Claims Should She Go To PRISON? There have been a few very high profile allegations of sexual misconduct that have been found to be false.



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In an interview with a Catholic media outlet, Pope Francis provided some unnerving insight into the nature of Satan. Perhaps the most chilling among his musings were that the devil is not simply some kind of boogeyman invented to frighten people, but is actually a genuine incarnation of evil. "He's not like mist. He's not a diffuse thing, he is a person," Pope Francis told the Italy-based broadcast network TV2000. Although he did not speak to the possible identity of the devil, His Holiness did express concern about anyone who may encounter the wicked individual and foolishly engage him. "I’m convinced that one must never converse with Satan," Pope Francis said, "he's more intelligent than us, and he'll turn you upside down." The Pope went on lament that the devil "always pretends to be polite - he does it with priests, with bishops. That’s how he enters your mind. But it ends badly if you don’t realize what is happening in time." I THINK PAPA IS RIGHT ON THIS.




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TIME FOR SOME BUFFERING




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Can I just ask for a huge favor? Those of you who are planning to place Christmas lights in your yards, could you please avoid anything that is RED or BLUE and FLASHING? Every time I drive by, I think it's the police and get panic attacks. I have to take my foot off the accelerator, toss my Beer, fasten my seat belt, throw my phone on the floor, and push the gun under the seat. It's a big drama. Thank you for your cooperation and understanding.



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Ummm… Is this for real?
If it isn’t, then this is the BEST trolling EVER.
One of the women accusing President Trump of sexual misconduct complained that he saw her backstage at a pageant while she ‘sat naked under a robe’.
If that’s how it works, then I’m naked under my clothes right now.
And so are you.
Samantha Holvey, a 2006 Miss USA contestant, has accused President Trump of seeing her ‘naked’ backstage.
One problem with her claim, her nudity was covered by a robe.







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Okay, so I just went to Walmart to pick up a few things I needed. I was waiting in the self-checkout line and I dropped a $20 bill. The guy in front of me picked it up. I thanked him and told him that it was mine and he said, "The things found on earth are kept by the collector," and walks away!!! Really? I looked at the person behind me standing in line, who looked just as shocked as me and I turned back towards this human and as I approached him I said, "Do I look like an ATM?! YOU WILL Give me back my $20. He had the nerve to ignore me completely and TRIED to walk away from my wrath of justice I was about to serve. SOOOOO, of course I left my basket and quickly followed him into the parking lot as I was calling the police. He was clearly walking at a fast pace to get away from me which was the first sign of real intelligence the man had shown! When he got to his car he put the bags on the ground to open his trunk.
I was boiling at this point! I decided that his “finders keepers" rule just presented the perfect opportunity for one heck of a teachable moment... SO... I just grabbed his grocery bag, and said, "The things found on earth are kept by the collector!" and walked over to my car and ignored his every attempt to talk about the exchange. I was just waiting for him to take things to another level and wondering if his car was up for grabs too considering it was sitting right there on the earth. I was so mad, but I had a sense of satisfaction all at the same time. I can say as an adult that I've never stolen anything, but, I get home and open the bags and what did I find?
3 packs of rib eye steaks
3 pounds of country ribs 
2 pounds of potatoes 
2 heads of lettuce
2 onions 
And...
A bottle of WINE - which i sold for $20. 
I thought... WOW! Not bad for $20 dollars!



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This past Saturday, a Hanukkah party at a synagogue in Goteborg, Sweden, was abruptly interrupted by Molotov cocktails. They were hurled by a gang of men in masks at the Jews, mostly teenagers, who had gathered to celebrate the holiday. Two days later, two fire bombs were discovered outside the Jewish burial chapel in the southern Swedish city of Malmo. Who knows what tomorrow may bring? For Sweden’s 18,000 Jews, sadly, none of this comes as a surprise. They are by now used to anti-Semitic threats and attacks — especially during periods of unrest in the Middle East, which provide cover to those whose actual goal has little to do with Israel and much to do with harming Jews.


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