Monday, June 29, 2009



     I hate it when people forward bogus warnings, and I have even done
myself a couple times unintentionally but this one is real, and it's

    Please send this warning to everyone on your e- mail list:

    If someone comes to your front door saying they are checking for
due to the warm weather and asks you to take your clothes off and dance
around with your arms up,

                      DO NOT DO IT!! THIS IS A SCAM!!
    They only want to see you naked.

    I wish I'd gotten this yesterday. I feel so stupid. THEY GOT ME 3 TIMES OVER THE WEEKEND!

Sunday, June 28, 2009


And now some history.  More than a good read.

              Have you ever wondered what happened to the 56 men
who signed the Declaration of Independence?

Five signers were captured by the British as traitors,

and tortured before they died.

Twelve had their homes ransacked and burned.

Two lost their sons serving in the Revolutionary Army;

another had two sons captured.

Nine of the 56 fought and died from wounds or

hardships of the Revolutionary War.

They signed and they pledged their lives, their fortunes,

and their sacred honor.

What kind of men were they?

Twenty-four were lawyers and jurists.

Eleven were merchants,

nine were farmers and large plantation owners;

men of means, well educated,

but they signed the Declaration of Independence

knowing full well that the penalty would be death if

they were captured.

Carter Braxton of Virginia, a wealthy planter and

trader, saw his ships swept from the seas by the

British Navy. He sold his home and properties to

pay his debts, and died in rags.

Thomas McKeam was so hounded by the British

that he was forced to move his family almost constantly.

He served in the Congress without pay, and his family

was kept in hiding. His possessions were taken from him,

and poverty was his reward.

Vandals or soldiers looted the properties of Dillery, Hall, Clymer,

Walton, Gwinnett, Heyward, Ruttledge, and Middleton.

At the battle of Yorktown, Thomas Nelson, Jr., noted that

the British General Cornwallis had taken over the Nelson

home for his headquarters. He quietly urged General

George Washington to open fire. The home was destroyed,

and Nelson died bankrupt.

Francis Lewis had his home and properties destroyed.

The enemy jailed his wife, and she died within a few months.

John Hart was driven from his wife's bedside as she was dying.

Their 13 children fled for their lives. His fields and his gristmill

were laid to waste. For more than a year he lived in forests

and caves, returning home to find his wife dead and his

children vanished.

So, take a few minutes while enjoying your 4th of July holiday and

silently thank these patriots. It's not much to ask for the price they paid.

Remember: freedom is never free!

I hope you will show your support by sending this to as many

people as you can, please. It's time we get the word out that patriotism

is NOT a sin, and the Fourth of July has more to it than beer,

picnics, and baseball games.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Better than a Flu Shot!

Miss Beatrice,
The church organist,
Was in her eighties
And had never been married.
She was admired for her sweetness
And kindness to all.
One afternoon the pastor
Came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room.
She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
As he sat facing her old Hammond organ,
The young minister noticed a cute glass bowl sitting on top of it.
The bowl was filled with water, and in the water Floated, of all things,
a condom!
When she returned
With tea and scones,
They began to chat.
The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity
about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the
better of him and he could no longer resist.
'Miss Beatrice', he said,
'I wonder if you would tell me about this?'
Pointing to the bowl.
'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful?
I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little
package on the ground.
The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it
would prevent the spread of disease.

Do you know I haven't had the flu All winter.'

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Michelle Obama went to serve food to the homeless

Recently Michelle Obama went to serve food to the homeless at a government funded soup kitchen

Cost of a bowl of soup at homeless shelter: $0.00 dollars

Having Michelle Obama Serve you your soup: $0.00 dollars

Snapping a picture of a homeless person who is receiving a government funded meal while taking a picture of the first lady using his $500 BlackBerry cell phone: Priceless

Thursday, June 4, 2009

An actual Craigs List post I saw

Posted to Craig's List Personals:
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2009-03-23, 3:43 A M EST
Reply to:
I was the guy with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend.  You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings.
I hope you somehow come across this message.  I'd like to apologize. I didn't expect you to crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside.
You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 A CP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening.  Beautiful pistol, eh?
It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?  I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants.  I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and
wallet with me.  I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again.
I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation.  I also bought myself and four other people in the gas station this morning a tank full of gas on your credit card.  The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet.   I threw the wallet in a fancy pink "pimp mobile" parked at the curb after I broke the windshield and side
window out and keyed the drivers side.
I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cellphone.  They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones.
Ma Bell just shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that.  I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service.
I could only get in two threatening phone calls to the D A 's office and one to the FBI with it.  The FBI guy was really pissed and we had a long chat (I guess while he traced the number).
I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky..
- Alex

P.S. Remember this motto......  an armed society is a polite society!