Monday, May 30, 2011
Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old
to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at $7000 per month.
My grandpa started walking
five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he's 97 years old
and we don't know where he is.
I like long walks,
especially when they are taken
by people who annoy me.
The only reason I would take up walking
is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
I have to walk early in the morning,
before my brain figures out what I'm doing..
I joined a health club last year,
spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there.
Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
The advantage of exercising every day
is so when you die, they'll say,
"Well, she looks good, doesn't she?"
If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
start with a small country.
I know I got a lot of exercise
the last few years...
just getting over the hill.
We all get heavier as we get older,
because there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Every time I start thinking too much
about how I look, I just find a Happy Hour
and by the time I leave, I look just fine.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Saturday, May 28, 2011
By Bryan Fischer
Nicolai Sennels is a Danish psychologist who has done extensive research into a little-known problem in the Muslim world: the disastrous consequences of Muslim inbreeding brought about by the marriage of first-cousins.
The practice of marrying close relatives, which has been prohibited in the Judeo-Christian tradition since the days of Moses, was sanctioned by Muhammad and has been going on now for 50 generations (1,400 years) in the Muslim world.
This practice of inbreeding will never go away in the Muslim world since Muhammad is the ultimate example and authority on all matters, including marriage.
The massive inbreeding in Muslim culture may well have done virtually irreversible damage to the Muslim gene pool, including extensive damage to its intelligence, sanity, and health.
According to Sennels, close to half of all Muslims in the world are inbred. In Pakistan, the numbers approach 70%. Even in England, more than half of Pakistani immigrants are married to their first cousins, and in Denmark the number of inbred Pakistani immigrants is around 40%.
The numbers are equally devastating in other important Muslim countries: 67% in Saudi Arabia, 64% in Jordan and Kuwait, 63% in Sudan, 60% in Iraq, and 54% in the United Arab Emirates and Qatar. CLICK HERE FOR MORE
The Betabel cocktail at Rosa Mexicana.
By FRANK BRUNI
Published: May 26, 2011
Because beer cocktails tend to have more volume than other mixed drinks and to be served in larger glasses, they are especially popular in late spring and the summer months, when people are looking to cool down and quench their thirst and are more inclined toward the effervescence that beer brings into the glass. CLICK FOR MORE
Friday, May 27, 2011
The latest numbers from the IRS – based on 2008 tax returns – show that the top 1% of income earners paid 38.02% of individual income taxes paid. That’s a lot, but it’s actually a smaller share of the total tax bill than the top 1% paid in 2007. That year they paid 40.42%. We also learn from the IRS that, in 2008, the richest 1% of Americans made 20% of all the adjusted gross income reported. That’s almost twice the 12.75% of total income earned collectively by the lowest-earning 50% of workers. Yes, 1.4 million taxpayers earn 20% of all income reported while 70 million share just 12.75%.
CLICK FOR REST OF STORY
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Egyptian protesters carried Mubarak Hitler signs a couple of months ago.
Now there’s a Nazi party.
Wasn’t Barack Obama just comparing himself to Reagan or Thatcher, or something?
He’s more like the anti-Reagan.
Where once was a pro-American ally, now there’s a Nazi party.
Good grief. CLICK HERE FOR MORE
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
CLICK ABOVE FOR STORY
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
The label certainly appears to fit in the minds of British police. Scotland Yard, the UK's police force, has given Obama the security codename 'Chalaque' for his visit this week to the United Kingdom, the UK Daily Mail reports. The term is reportedly a Punjabi word meaning someone who is too clever for his own good, according to the newspaper.
Is that our National Anthem playing? Uh,,,no, Obama is standing with his hand over his heart instead of his crotch, must be the British Anthem.
Monday, May 23, 2011
One day, in line at the
company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike, “My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I’d better see a doctor.”
“Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,” Mike replies.
“There’s a diagnostic computer down at Costco. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about
It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars. A lot cheaper than a doctor.”
So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Costco.
He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
“You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will
improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping at Costco.”
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was,
Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a
sperm sample from himself for good measure.
Joe hurries back to Costco, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard.
Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don’t stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.
Thank you for shopping at
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Thursday, May 19, 2011
The DSK case and the silly stereotypes about American and European morals.By Christopher HitchensPosted Wednesday, May 18, 2011, at 11:37 AM ET
The following was originally posted on CDC Public Health Matters Blog May 16th, 2011 by Ali S. Khan.
There are all kinds of emergencies out there that we can prepare for. Take a zombie apocalypse for example. That’s right, I said z-o-m-b-i-e a-p-o-c-a-l-y-p-s-e. You may laugh now, but when it happens you’ll be happy you read this, and hey, maybe you’ll even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency.
CLICK ABOVE FOR REST OF STORY
MAY 17, 2011 | 28
On Sunday, Palestinians and their supporters marked the 63rd anniversary of what they call the "Nakba," or catastrophe, that befell them as hundreds of thousands fled or were pushed out of their homes following Israel's establishment in 1948. They observed the anniversary this year by staging coordinated demonstrations, in part inspired by recent protests around the Arab world. Thousands marched on Israeli borders and walls in Gaza, the West Bank, Syria, and Lebanon. Where they attempted to climb border fences and enter Israel,
CLICK HERE FOR MORE
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
RIO DE JANEIRO -- A white cross rising above the Macacos slum marks the spot where people are burned alive. A starving horse, his ribs poking out, is hitched close by with a thin rope. A nearby soccer field is dotted with pieces of melted rubber. No games are played here. The Amigos dos Amigos gang that runs this favela has a ritual: Members stack tires around their enemies, pour in gasoline and light the tires on fire. This is called microwaving. Black smoke rises into the air. At a school down the hill, near the famous soccer stadium where the 2016 Olympic opening ceremonies will be held, the students hear the screams and cover their ears.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Put me in charge . . .
and piercings, get a job!
and speakers and put that money toward the "common good."
absolutely nothing was demeaning, and lowered self esteem!