Monday, May 30, 2011

Devil of a Commercial!

Dirt Devil-The Exorcist from MrPrice2U on Vimeo.

Old Jews Telling Jokes


I Need To Know, Do You Remember Me?


Maxine On Importance Of Walking And Exercise

Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old
to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at $7000 per month.

My grandpa started walking
five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he's 97 years old
and we don't know where he is.

I like long walks,
especially when they are taken
by people who annoy me.

The only reason I would take up walking
is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I have to walk early in the morning,
before my brain figures out what I'm doing..

I joined a health club last year,
spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there.

Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

The advantage of exercising every day
is so when you die, they'll say,
"Well, she looks good, doesn't she?"

If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
start with a small country.

I know I got a lot of exercise
the last few years...
just getting over the hill.

We all get heavier as we get older,
because there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.


Every time I start thinking too much
about how I look, I just find a Happy Hour
and by the time I leave, I look just fine.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Let's FIX Congress!!!

The 26th amendment (granting the right to vote for 18 year-olds) took only 3 months & 8 days to be ratified! Why? Simple! The people demanded it. That was in 1971...before computers, before e-mail, before cell phones,

Of the 27 amendments to the Constitution, seven (7) took 1 year or less to become the law of the land...all because of public pressure.
I'm asking each addressee to forward this email to a minimum of twenty people on their address list; in turn ask each of those to do likewise.

In three days, most people in The **United States of America** will have the message. This is one idea that really should be passed around.

Congressional Reform Act of 2011

1. No Tenure / No Pension.
A Congressman collects a salary while in office and receives no pay when they are out of office.

2. Congress (past, present& future) participates in Social Security.
All funds in the Congressional retirement fund move to the Social Security system immediately. All future funds flow into the Social Security system, and Congress participates with the American people. It may not be used for any other purpose.*

3. Congress can purchase their own retirement plan, just as all Americans do.

4. Congress will no longer vote themselves a pay raise. Congressional pay will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%.

5. Congress loses their current health care system and participates in the same health care system as the American people.

6. Congress must equally abide by all laws they impose on the American people.

7. All contracts with past and present Congressmen are void effective 1/1/12. The American people did not make this contract with Congressmen. Congressmen made all these contracts for themselves. Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, so ours should serve their term(s), then go home and back to work.

If each person contacts a minimum of twenty people then it will only take three days for most people (in the U.S. ) to receive the message. Maybe it is time.

Craig Miller Drag Racing


Saturday, May 28, 2011

Amazing new dog food- dogs fully grown in 40 seconds!

Huge Muslim Inbreeding Problem

A huge Muslim problem: Inbreeding
By Bryan Fischer

(Bryan Fischer is the Director of Issue Analysis for Government and Public Policy at the American Family Association, where he provides expertise on a range of public policy topics. He hosts the "Focal Point" radio program on AFR Talk, which airs live on weekdays from 1-3 p.m., Central, on American Family Radio's nationwide talk network of 145 stations)

Nicolai Sennels is a Danish psychologist who has done extensive research into a little-known problem in the Muslim world: the disastrous consequences of Muslim inbreeding brought about by the marriage of first-cousins.

The practice of marrying close relatives, which has been prohibited in the Judeo-Christian tradition since the days of Moses, was sanctioned by Muhammad and has been going on now for 50 generations (1,400 years) in the Muslim world.

This practice of inbreeding will never go away in the Muslim world since Muhammad is the ultimate example and authority on all matters, including marriage.

The massive inbreeding in Muslim culture may well have done virtually irreversible damage to the Muslim gene pool, including extensive damage to its intelligence, sanity, and health.

According to Sennels, close to half of all Muslims in the world are inbred. In Pakistan, the numbers approach 70%. Even in England, more than half of Pakistani immigrants are married to their first cousins, and in Denmark the number of inbred Pakistani immigrants is around 40%.

The numbers are equally devastating in other important Muslim countries: 67% in Saudi Arabia, 64% in Jordan and Kuwait, 63% in Sudan, 60% in Iraq, and 54% in the United Arab Emirates and Qatar. CLICK HERE FOR MORE

Cocktails With a Beer Buzz

The Betabel cocktail at Rosa Mexicana.
Published: May 26, 2011

Because beer cocktails tend to have more volume than other mixed drinks and to be served in larger glasses, they are especially popular in late spring and the summer months, when people are looking to cool down and quench their thirst and are more inclined toward the effervescence that beer brings into the glass. CLICK FOR MORE

Friday, May 27, 2011

Just What You Needed: Higher Taxes

From Wall Street Journal-

The Social Security tax wage ceiling for both 2010 and 2011 is $106,800. If you made that much or more last year, the Social Security tax hit on your 2010 wages was a whopping $13,243 (12.4% x $106,800). Half came out of your paycheck. Your employer paid the other half.

For 2011, the tax hit is less, thanks to a one-year 2 percentage-point reduction in the Social Security tax withholding rate on wages -- from the normal 6.2% to 4.2% (your employer's 6.2% rate is unchanged). For 2012 and beyond, however, Social Security tax withholding on your wages will jump back to the standard 6.2% rate. CLICK FOR WHOLE ARTICLE

Where Do You Rank as a Taxpayer?

What the numbers show

The latest numbers from the IRS – based on 2008 tax returns – show that the top 1% of income earners paid 38.02% of individual income taxes paid. That’s a lot, but it’s actually a smaller share of the total tax bill than the top 1% paid in 2007. That year they paid 40.42%. We also learn from the IRS that, in 2008, the richest 1% of Americans made 20% of all the adjusted gross income reported. That’s almost twice the 12.75% of total income earned collectively by the lowest-earning 50% of workers. Yes, 1.4 million taxpayers earn 20% of all income reported while 70 million share just 12.75%.


Thursday, May 26, 2011


Egyptian protesters carried Mubarak Hitler signs a couple of months ago.
Now there’s a Nazi party.

Wasn’t Barack Obama just comparing himself to Reagan or Thatcher, or something?
He’s more like the anti-Reagan.
Where once was a pro-American ally, now there’s a Nazi party.

PARTY IN THE USA-Neil Young' Covers Miley Cyrus With Actual Crosby and Nash

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

UK Code name for Obama raises eyebrows

The label certainly appears to fit in the minds of British police. Scotland Yard, the UK's police force, has given Obama the security codename 'Chalaque' for his visit this week to the United Kingdom, the UK Daily Mail reports. The term is reportedly a Punjabi word meaning someone who is too clever for his own good, according to the newspaper.
Is that our National Anthem playing? Uh,,,no, Obama is standing with his hand over his heart instead of his crotch, must be the British Anthem.

People of Walmart - Music Video

Extra 5 Months To Collect More Money

May 24, 3:56 AM EDT

Preacher says world will actually end in October

Monday, May 23, 2011

Costco Saves On Medical Diagnosis

Costco Doctor

One day, in line at the
company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike, “My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I’d better see a doctor.”

“Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,” Mike replies.

“There’s a diagnostic computer down at Costco. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about

It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars. A lot cheaper than a doctor.”

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Costco.

He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

“You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will
improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping at Costco.”

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was,
Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a
sperm sample from himself for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Costco, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard.
Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don’t stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

Thank you for shopping at

Friday, May 20, 2011

Thursday, May 19, 2011

We Silly Americans Think It's Not Nice To Rape Service Workers

Beaucoup B.S.

The DSK case and the silly stereotypes about American and European morals.

Dominique Strauss-Kahn. Click image to expand.


Millionaire Still On Disability And Foodstamps

CDC-Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse

The following was originally posted on CDC Public Health Matters Blog May 16th, 2011 by Ali S. Khan.

Image of zombie

There are all kinds of emergencies out there that we can prepare for. Take a zombie apocalypse for example. That’s right, I said z-o-m-b-i-e a-p-o-c-a-l-y-p-s-e. You may laugh now, but when it happens you’ll be happy you read this, and hey, maybe you’ll even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency.


A Little Wookie Action

DEMS and PUBS just take turns ripping us off

click here for story


Palestinian Protests on Israel's Borders
MAY 17, 2011 | 28
On Sunday, Palestinians and their supporters marked the 63rd anniversary of what they call the "Nakba," or catastrophe, that befell them as hundreds of thousands fled or were pushed out of their homes following Israel's establishment in 1948. They observed the anniversary this year by staging coordinated demonstrations, in part inspired by recent protests around the Arab world. Thousands marched on Israeli borders and walls in Gaza, the West Bank, Syria, and Lebanon. Where they attempted to climb border fences and enter Israel,


Wednesday, May 18, 2011

The America I Never Knew

Great observations by people through history

Great observations by people through history
Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself,'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'
  -   Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.. 
Mark Twain
I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.' 
Eleanor Roosevelt  
 Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP .
Joe Namath
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible
George Burns
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year..
 Victor Borge
 By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
Billy Crystal
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out..
Phyllis Diller
Don't worry about avoiding temptation.   As you grow older, it will avoid you.
 Winston Churchill
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying..
Rodney Dangerfield
I have never  hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
 Zsa Zsa Gabor
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. 
Will Rogers 
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
 Jimmy Durante
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
 - Alex Levine
Money can't buy you happiness ..... But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
Spike Milligan
 I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.
 Bob Hope
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it..
 W. C. Fields
  And the cardiologist' s diet: -  If it tastes good spit it out.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
May your troubles be less, may your blessings be more, and
may nothing but happiness come through your door.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Another Explanation Of Hell

The following is an actual question given on a  University   of Arizona   chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student. 

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :  

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? 

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. 

 One student, however, wrote the following:  
 First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely.. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. 

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:  

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.  
  2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. 
So which is it?  
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ....leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.' 

Psychology Today Scientifically Compares Female Attractiveness By Race

Copperhead Road - Steve Earle

Sunday, May 15, 2011


A Texan's letter to the Waco Tribune Herald

The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not. Thomas Jefferson G/Z

From the Nov 18, 2010 Waco Tribune Herald, Waco, TX:
Put me in charge . . .

Put me in charge of food stamps. I'd get rid of Lone Star cards; no cash for Ding Dongs or Ho Ho's, just money for 50-pound bags of rice and beans, blocks of cheese, and all the powdered milk you can haul away. If you want steak and frozen pizza, get a job!

Put me in charge of Medicaid. The first thing I'd do is get women Norplant birth control implants or tubal ligations. Then, we'll test recipients for drugs, alcohol and nicotine and document all tattoos and piercings. If you want to reproduce, use drugs, alcohol, smoke or get tats
and piercings, get a job!

Put me in charge of government housing. Ever lived in a military barracks? You WILL maintain our property in a clean and good state of repair. Your "home" will be subject to inspections any time and possessions will be inventoried. If you want a plasma TV or Xbox 360, get a job and your own place!

In addition, you will either present a check stub from a job each week or you will report to a "government" job. It may be cleaning the roadways of trash, painting and repairing public housing, whatever we find for you. We will sell your 22 inch rims and low profile tires and your blasting stereo
and speakers and put that money toward the "common good."

Before you write that I've violated someone's rights, realize that all of the above is voluntary. If you want our money, accept our rules. Before you say that this would be "demeaning" and ruin their "self esteem," consider that it wasn't that long ago that taking someone else's money for doing
absolutely nothing was demeaning, and lowered self esteem!

If we are expected to pay for other people's mistakes we should at least attempt to make them learn from their bad choices. The current system rewards them for continuing to make bad choices!

And, while you are on Gov't subsistence, you no longer can VOTE! Yes, that's correct: for you to vote would be a conflict of interest. You will voluntarily remove yourself from voting while you are receiving a Gov't welfare check. If you want to vote, get a job!