Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Monday, September 28, 2009

Lucy in the Sky dies

Lucy of 'Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds' fame dies

AP, Sep 28, 2009 10:45 am PDT
Lucy Vodden, who provided the inspiration for the Beatles' classic song "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds," has died after a long battle with lupus. She was 46.

Her death was announced Monday by St. Thomas' Hospital in London, where she had been treated for the chronic disease for more than five years, and by her husband, Ross Vodden. Britain's Press Association said she died last Tuesday. Hospital officials said they could not confirm the day of her death.

Vodden's connection to the Beatles dates back to her early days, when she made friends with schoolmate Julian Lennon, John Lennon's son.

Julian Lennon, then 4 years old, came home from school with a drawing one day, showed it to his father, and said it was "Lucy in the sky with diamonds."

At the time, John Lennon was gathering material for his contributions to "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band," a landmark album released to worldwide acclaim in 1967.

The elder Lennon seized on the image and developed it into what is widely regarded as a psychedelic masterpiece, replete with haunting images of "newspaper taxis" and a "girl with kaleidoscope eyes."

Rock music critics thought the song's title was a veiled reference to LSD, but John Lennon always claimed the phrase came from his son, not from a desire to spell out the initials LSD in code.

Vodden lost touch with Julian Lennon after he left the school following his parents' divorce, but they were reunited in recent years when Julian Lennon, who lives in France, tried to help her cope with the disease.

He sent her flowers and vouchers for use at a gardening center near her home in Surrey in southeast England, and frequently sent her text messages in an effort to buttress her spirits.

"I wasn't sure at first how to approach her," Julian Lennon told the Associated Press in June. "I wanted at least to get a note to her. Then I heard she had a great love of gardening, and I thought I'd help with something she's passionate about, and I love gardening too. I wanted to do something to put a smile on her face."

In recent months, Vodden was too ill to go out most of the time, except for hospital visits.

She enjoyed her link to the Beatles, but was not particularly fond of "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds."

"I don't relate to the song, to that type of song," she told the Associated Press in June. "As a teenager, I made the mistake of telling a couple of friends at school that I was the Lucy in the song and they said, 'No, it's not you, my parents said it's about drugs.' And I didn't know what LSD was at the time, so I just kept it quiet, to myself."

Vodden is the latest in a long line of people connected to the Beatles who died at a relatively young age.

The list includes John Lennon, gunned down at age 40, manager Brian Epstein, who died of a drug overdose when he was 32, and original band member Stuart Sutcliffe, who died of a brain hemorrhage at 21.

A spokeswoman for Julian Lennon and his mother, Cynthia Lennon, said they were "shocked and saddened" by Vodden's death.

Angie Davidson, a lupus sufferer who is campaign director of the St. Thomas' Lupus Trust, said Vodden was "a real fighter" who had worked behind the scenes to support efforts to combat the disease.

"It's so sad that she has finally lost the battle she fought so bravely for so long," said Davidson.

Interesting article from PRAVDA

 
American capitalism gone with a whimper

27.04.2009 Source: Pravda.Ru URL: http://english.pravda.ru/opinion/columnists/107459-american_capitalism-0

It must be said, that like the breaking of a great dam, the American decent into Marxism is happening with breath taking speed, against the back drop of a passive, hapless sheeple, excuse me dear reader, I meant people.

True, the situation has been well prepared on and off for the past century, especially the past twenty years. The initial testing grounds was conducted upon our Holy Russia and a bloody test it was. But we Russians would not just roll over and give up our freedoms and our souls, no matter how much money Wall Street poured into the fists of the Marxists.

Those lessons were taken and used to properly prepare the American populace for the surrender of their freedoms and souls, to the whims of their elites and betters.

First, the population was dumbed down through a politicized and substandard education system based on pop culture, rather then the classics. Americans know more about their favorite TV dramas then the drama in DC that directly affects their lives. They care more for their "right" to choke down a McDonalds burger or a BurgerKing burger than for their constitutional rights. Then they turn around and lecture us about our rights and about our "democracy". Pride blind the foolish.

Then their faith in God was destroyed, until their churches, all tens of thousands of different "branches and denominations" were for the most part little more then Sunday circuses and their televangelists and top protestant mega preachers were more then happy to sell out their souls and flocks to be on the "winning" side of one pseudo Marxist politician or another. Their flocks may complain, but when explained that they would be on the "winning" side, their flocks were ever so quick to reject Christ in hopes for earthly power. Even our Holy Orthodox churches are scandalously liberalized in America.

The final collapse has come with the election of Barack Obama. His speed in the past three months has been truly impressive. His spending and money printing has been a record setting, not just in America's short history but in the world. If this keeps up for more then another year, and there is no sign that it will not, America at best will resemble the Wiemar Republic and at worst Zimbabwe.

These past two weeks have been the most breath taking of all. First came the announcement of a planned redesign of the American Byzantine tax system, by the very thieves who used it to bankroll their thefts, loses and swindles of hundreds of billions of dollars. These make our Russian oligarchs look little more then ordinary street thugs, in comparison. Yes, the Americans have beat our own thieves in the shear volumes. Should we congratulate them?

These men, of course, are not an elected panel but made up of appointees picked from the very financial oligarchs and their henchmen who are now gorging themselves on trillions of American dollars, in one bailout after another. They are also usurping the rights, duties and powers of the American congress (parliament). Again, congress has put up little more then a whimper to their masters.

Then came Barack Obama's command that GM's (General Motor) president step down from leadership of his company. That is correct, dear reader, in the land of "pure" free markets, the American president now has the power, the self given power, to fire CEOs and we can assume other employees of private companies, at will. Come hither, go dither, the centurion commands his minions.

So it should be no surprise, that the American president has followed this up with a "bold" move of declaring that he and another group of unelected, chosen stooges will now redesign the entire automotive industry and will even be the guarantee of automobile policies. I am sure that if given the chance, they would happily try and redesign it for the whole of the world, too. Prime Minister Putin, less then two months ago, warned Obama and UK's Blair, not to follow the path to Marxism, it only leads to disaster. Apparently, even though we suffered 70 years of this Western sponsored horror show, we know nothing, as foolish, drunken Russians, so let our "wise" Anglo-Saxon fools find out the folly of their own pride.

Again, the American public has taken this with barely a whimper...but a "freeman" whimper.

So, should it be any surprise to discover that the Democratically controlled Congress of America is working on passing a new regulation that would give the American Treasury department the power to set "fair" maximum salaries, evaluate performance and control how private companies give out pay raises and bonuses? Senator Barney Franks, a social pervert basking in his homosexuality (of course, amongst the modern, enlightened American societal norm, as well as that of the general West, homosexuality is not only not a looked down upon life choice, but is often praised as a virtue) and his Marxist enlightenment, has led this effort. He stresses that this only affects companies that receive government monies, but it is retroactive and taken to a logical extreme, this would include any company or industry that has ever received a tax break or incentive.

The Russian owners of American companies and industries should look thoughtfully at this and the option of closing their facilities down and fleeing the land of the Red as fast as possible. In other words, divest while there is still value left.

The proud American will go down into his slavery with out a fight, beating his chest and proclaiming to the world, how free he really is. The world will only snicker.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Eight Words with two Meanings

Eight Words with two Meanings

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female ...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male ..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female .... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to
another.
Male .... Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION ( ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n .
Female ... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with
one's partner.
Male ... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing
trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko- mit-ment) n.
Female .... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male ...... Trying not to hit on other women while out
with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female .... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male ...... Anything that can be done while drinking
beer.

6. FLATULENCE ( flach-u-lens) n.
Female .... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male ...... A source of entertainment, self-expression,
and male bonding.

7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female ...... The greatest expression of intimacy a
couple can achieve.
Male ........ Call it whatever you want, just as long
as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female .... A device for changing from one TV channel
to another.
Male ... A device for scanning through all 375
channels every 5 minutes.

AND . . . . .

He said . . . . I don't know why you wear a bra;
you've got nothing to put in it.
She said . . You wear pants don't you?

He said . . . . . . Shall we try swapping positions
tonight?
She said . . . . That's a good idea - you stand by the
ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said . . . What have you been doing with all the
grocery money I gave you?
She said . . . . . Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said . . How many men does it take to change a roll
of toilet paper?
She said . . We don't know; it has never happened.

He said . . Why is it difficult to find men who are
sensitive, caring and Good- looking?
She said . . . . . . . They already have boyfriends.

He said . . . Why are married women heavier than
single women?
She said . . . . . . Single women come home, see what's in
the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see
what's in bed and go to the fridge.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

HELL EXPLAINED-BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

HELL EXPLAINED
BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona
chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.
The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it
with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have
the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely
assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. There fore, no
souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look
at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we
can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as
they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell
because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and
pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take
into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two
must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen
over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
therefore, extinct..... ...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the
existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept
shouting 'Oh my God.'
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

That's when the fight started

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping
channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust..'
And then the fight started...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My wife and I are watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire " while we
were in bed. I turned to her and said,

"Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And then the fight started....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch,
grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the
boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential
downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the
garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be
bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into
bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation,
and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband
is out fishing in that?"

And then the fight started ...
_____________________________________________
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150
in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her
someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.
And then the fight started...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's
license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had
left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but
I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt
revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your
chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social
Security application

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience
at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have
gotten disability, too.'
And then the fight started...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion,
and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as
she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she
took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I
hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I took my wife to a restaurant.. The waiter, for some reason,
took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,

'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay
me a compliment..'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight started.....

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

WHAT WILL HE BE?

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the
boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young
men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he
didn't seem too concerned about it. One day, while the boy was away at
school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's
room and placed on his study table four objects.



1. A Bible.

2. A silver dollar.

3. A bottle of whisky.

4. And a Playboy magazine.



'I'll just hide behind the door,' the old preacher said to
himself. 'When he comes home from school today, I'll see which object he
picks up.



If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what
a blessing that would be!



If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a business man, and
that would be okay, too.



But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunken
bum, and Lord, what a shame that would be.



And worst of all if he picks up that magazine he's going to be a
skirt-chasing womanizer.'



The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's footsteps
as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room.



The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave
the room he spotted the objects on the table.



With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.



Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He
picked up the silver dollar and dropped into his pocket. He uncorked
the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired this month's centerfold.



'Lord have mercy,' the old preacher disgustedly whispered.
'He's gonna run for Congress.'

Monday, September 21, 2009

Crabby Old Man

The story behind this poem is it was found in the pocket of a man who died in a
nursing home.  There is some controversy about that. But no matter the history
the message is what is important..


Crabby Old Man

What do you see nurses? .What do you see?
What are you thinking.....when you're looking at me?
A crabby old man, ..not very wise,
Uncertain of habit ......with faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food.......and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice.....'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice ..the things that you do.
And forever is losing .......... A sock or a shoe?

Who, resisting or not...........lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding ... the long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse......you're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am ......... As I sit here so still,
As I do what you're bidding, ....as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of ten ......with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters ........who love one another.



A young boy of sixteen ..with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now. .......a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at twenty .....my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows......that I promised to keep .

At t wenty-five, now .......... I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide .... and a secure happy home.
A man of thirty ........ my young now grown fast,
Bound to each other .......... with ties that should last.

At forty, my young sons .....have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me.......to see I don't mourn.
At fifty, once more, ........ babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children ...... my loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me ............. my wife is now dead.
I look at the future ..............I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing......young of their own.
And I think of the years... and the love that I've known.

I'm now an old man.........and nature is cruel.
'Tis jest to make old age ....look like a fool.

The body, it crumbles..........grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone........where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass ...... a young guy still dwells,
And now and again ......my battered heart swells
I remember the joys........... I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living.............life over again.

I think of the years .all too few......gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact........that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people ..........open and see..
Not a crabby old man. Look closer....see........ME!!  

Friday, September 18, 2009

Monday, September 14, 2009

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Football in the South vs the North

Football in the South vs the North

Stadium Size:
NORTH: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
SOUTH: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

Campus Decor:
NORTH: Statues of founding fathers.
SOUTH: Statues of Heisman trophy winners.

Homecoming Queen:
NORTH: Also a physics major.
SOUTH: Also Miss America..

Cheerleaders:
NORTH: If you are slightly coordinated, you make the varsity squad.
SOUTH: You begin cheer camp at age two, complete with ballet, dance, & gymnastic training.

Getting Tickets:
NORTH: 5 days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus and purchase tickets.
SOUTH: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus & put name on the waiting list.

Women’s Accessories:
NORTH: ChapStick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket.
SOUTH: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, waterproof mascara, and a fifth of Jack Daniels/Crown. Money is not necessary — That’s what dates are for.

Friday Classes After a Thursday Night Game:
NORTH: Students and teachers not sure they’re going to the game, Because they have classes on Friday.
SOUTH: Teachers cancel Friday classes because they don’t want to see The few hung-over students that might actually make it to class and throw up on their floor.

Parking:
NORTH: An hour before game time, the University opens the campus for game parking.
SOUTH: RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for The weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.

Game Day:
NORTH: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.
SOUTH: Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting “Game Day Live” to get on camera and wave to the folks up north.

Tailgating:
NORTH: Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening to local radio station with truck tailgate down.
SOUTH: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking accompanied by live performance by Dave Matthews Band, who come over during breaks and ask for a hit off bottle of bourbon.

Getting to the Stadium:
NORTH: You ask “Where’s the stadium?” When you find it, you walk right in.
SOUTH: When you’re near it, you’ll hear it. On game day it becomes the state’s third largest city.

Concessions:
NORTH: Drinks served in a paper cup, filled to the top with soda.
SOUTH: Drinks served in a plastic cup with the home team’s mascot on it, filled less than halfway with soda, to ensure enough room for Jack Daniels/Crown.

When National Anthem is Played:
NORTH: Stands are still less than half full.
SOUTH: 100,000 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part harmony.

Smell in the Air After the First Score:
NORTH: Nothing changes.
SOUTH: Fireworks, with a touch of Jack Daniels/Crown.

Commentary (Male):
NORTH: “Nice play.”
SOUTH: “*#@&@, you slow *&%$@#! - tackle him and break his legs.”

Commentary (Female):
NORTH: “My, this certainly is a violent sport.”
SOUTH: “*#@&@, you slow *&%$@#! - tackle him and break his legs.”

Announcers:
NORTH: Neutral and paid.
SOUTH: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the fight song, with a tear in his eye because he is so proud of his team.

After the Game:
NORTH: The stadium is emptying out.
SOUTH: Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker while somebody goes to The nearest package store for more bourbon. Planning begins for next week’s game.