Tuesday, March 31, 2009
I guarantee you will remember the tale of the Wooden Bowl tomorrow, a week from now, a month from now, a year from now .
A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year - old grandson .
The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered .
The family ate together at the table . But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult . Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor .
When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth .
The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess "We must do something about father," said the son .
"I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor . "
So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner .
There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner.
Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl.
When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone .
Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food .
The four-year-old watched it all in silence .
One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor .
He asked the child sweetly, "What are you making?" Just as sweetly, the boy responded, "Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up . " The four-year-old smiled and went back to work .
The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless .
Then tears started to stream down their cheeks .
Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done .
That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table .
For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled
On a positive note, I've learned that, no matter what happens, how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow
I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles four things: a rainy day, the elderly, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights .
I've learned that, regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.
I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life . . "
I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance .
I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands .
You need to be able to throw something back
I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you But, if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others, your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.
I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision .
I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one .
I've learned that every day, you should reach out and touch someone .
People love that human touch -- holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back .
I've learned that I still have a lot to learn .
I've learned that you should pass this on to everyone you care about I just did .
NOTICE AT THE END,
THE DATE THIS WAS STARTED .
I am not going to be the one who lets it die . I found it believable -- angels have walked beside me all my life--and they still do.
This is to all of you who mean something to me. I pray for your happiness .
The Gift Of Love, Hope. Friendship
This email was started on the
15th of September, 1998
Someone who loves you has helped keep it alive by sending it to you .
Don't let The Gift of Love, Hope and Friendship die
Pass It On To All Of Your Friends
and Everyone You Love!
May God richly bless you!
Sunday, March 29, 2009
|DO YOU KNOW THE FRONT FROM THE BACK OF A TREE? |
A REDNECK FROM GEORGIA DECIDES TO TRAVEL ACROSS THE SOUTH TO VIRGINIA TO SEE GOD'S COUNTRY. WHEN HE GETS TO FRANKLIN , HE LIKES THE PLACE SO MUCH THAT HE DECIDES TO STAY. BUT FIRST HE MUST FIND A JOB!
HE WALKS INTO THE INTERNATIONAL PAPER COMPANY OFFICE AND FILLS OUT AN APPLICATION AS AN EXPERIENCED LOG INSPECTOR. IT'S HIS LUCKY DAY!!! THEY JUST HAPPEN TO BE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE, BUT FIRST, THE LOG FOREMAN TAKES HIM FOR A RIDE INTO THE FOREST IN THE COMPANY PICKUP TRUCK TO SEE HOW MUCH HE KNOWS.
THE FOREMAN STOPS THE TRUCK ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND POINTS AT A TREE "SEE THAT TREE OVER THERE? I WANT YOU TO TELL ME WHAT SPECIES IT IS AND HOW MANY BOARD FEET OF LUMBER IT CONTAINS."
THE REDNECK PROMPTLY ANSWERS, "THAT THAR'S A WHITE PINE, 383 BOARD FEET OF LUMBER IN 'ER." THE FOREMAN IS IMPRESSED!!! HE PUTS THE TRUCK IN MOTION AND STOPS ABOUT A MILE DOWN THE ROAD.
HE POINTS AT ANOTHER TREE THROUGH THE PASSENGER WINDOW AND ASKS THE SAME QUESTION. THIS TIME, IT'S A BIGGER TREE OF A DIFFERENT CLASS.
"THAT'S A LOBLOLLY PINE AND SHE'S GOT ABOUT 456 CLEAR BOARD FEET."
THE FOREMAN IS REALLY IMPRESSED WITH THE GOOD OL' BOY, HE HAS BEEN QUICK AND GOT THE ANSWERS RIGHT WITHOUT USING A CALCULATOR!!!!
ONE MORE TEST. THEY DRIVE A LITTLE FURTHER DOWN THE ROAD, AND THE FOREMAN STOPS AGAIN. THIS TIME, HE POINTS ACROSS THE ROAD THROUGH HIS DRIVER SIDE WINDOW AND SAYS, "AND WHAT ABOUT THAT ONE?"
BEFORE THE FOREMAN FINISHES POINTING, THE REDNECK SAYS, "WHITE OAK, 242 BOARD FEET AT BEST."
THE FOREMAN SPINS THE TRUCK AROUND AND HEADS BACK TO THE OFFICE A LITTLE TICKED OFF BECAUSE HE THINKS THE RED NECK IS SMARTER THAN HE IS. AS THEY NEAR THE OFFICE, THE FOREMAN STOPS TH E TRUCK AND ASKS BUBBA TO STEP OUTSIDE. HE HANDS HIM A PIECE OF CHALK AND TELLS HIM, "SEE THAT TREE OVER THERE? I WANT YOU TO MARK AN X ON THE FRONT OF THAT TREE!!"
THE FOREMAN THINKS TO HIMSELF, "IDIOT, HOW WOULD HE KNOW WHICH IS THE FRONT OF THE TREE?"
WHEN BUBBA REACHES THE TREE, HE GOES AROUND IT IN A CIRCLE WHILE LOOKING AT THE GROUND. HE THEN REACHES UP AND PLACES A WHITE X ON THE TRUNK. HE WALKS BACK TO THE FOREMAN AND HANDS HIM THE CHALK. "THAT THAR'S THE FRONT," THE REDNECK SAYS.
THE FOREMAN LAUGHS TO HIMSELF AND ASKS SARCASTICALLY, "HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU KNOW THAT'S THE FRONT OF THE TREE?"
THE GOOD OL' BOY LOOKS DOWN AT HIS FEET, WHILE RUBBING THE TOE OF HIS LEFT BOOT CLEANING IT IN THE GRAVEL AND REPLIES, "CUZ SOMEBODY TOOK A DUMP BEHIND IT!"
HE GOT THE JOB AND IS NOW THE FOREMAN!!!!!
Friday, March 27, 2009
|Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. So, the guy|
that made $50 billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made
$750 billion disappear.
The economy is so bad:
CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
Even people who have nothing to do with the Obama administration aren't paying their taxes.
Hotwheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
Obama met with small businesses to discuss the Stimulus Package: GE, Pfeizer and Citigroup.
PETA serves chicken wings at their meetings.
McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer
People in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
A truck of Americans got caught sneaking into Mexico.
The most highly-paid job is now jury duty.
Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.
People in Africa are donating money to Americans.
Mothers in Ethiopia are telling their kids, "finish your plate, do you know how many kids are starving in the US?"
Motel Six wont leave the light on.
The Mafia is laying off judges.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
|An Irish man went to confession in St. Patrick's Catholic Church.|
'Father', he confessed, 'it has been one month since my last confession.
I had sex with Nookie Green twice last month.'
The priest told the sinner,'You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's.'
Soon thereafter, another Irish man entered the confessional. 'Father,
it has been two months since my last confession. I've had sex with
Nookie Green twice a week for the past two months.'
This time, the priest questioned,'Who is this Nookie Green?'
'A new woman in the neighborhood,' the sinner replied.
'Very well,' sighed the priest. Go and say ten Hail Mary's.
At mass the next morning, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon,
a tall, voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary.
The eyes of every man in the church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest.
Her dress was green and very short, and she wore matching,
shiny emerald-green shoes.
The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress
and matching green shoes sat with her legs spread slightly apart,
but just enough to realize she wasn't wearing any underwear.
The priest turned to the altar boy and whispered,
'Is that Nookie Green?'
The bug-eyed altar boy couldn't believe his ears but managed to calmly
reply, 'No Father, I think it's just a reflection from her shoes'.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009