NEWS FROM THE YEAR 2059

Ozone created by electric  cars now killing millions in the seventh largest Country  in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as  California.

White minorities still trying to have English
recognized as the third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens  Northwestern  United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally!  Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual 
marriage.

Iran still closed off;  physicists estimate it will
take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for  global help after being
taken over by Jamaica.
No other country comes forward to help the
beleaguered nation!

Last Castro finally dies  at age 112; Cuban cigars 
can now be imported legally, but President
Chelsea Clinton has  banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2060.

Postal Service raises  price of first class stamp  to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to  Wednesdays only.

Average weight of  Americans drops to  250 lbs.

85-year $758 billion  study:
Diet and exercise  is the key to weight loss.

Global cooling blamed  for citrus crop failure
for third consecutive  year in Mexifornia and
Floruba.

Japanese scientists have  created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they  now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Abortion clinics now  available in every High
School in United States.

 

Senate still blocking  drilling in ANWR even
though gas is selling  for 4532 Pesos per liter
and gas stations are  only open on Tuesdays
and Fridays.

Massachusetts  executes  last remaining
conservative.

Supreme Court rules any  punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

A Couple Finally Had  Sexual Harmony  .
They had simultaneous  Headaches.

Average height of NBA  players is now nine feet
seven inches with only 5  illegitimate children.

New federal law requires  that all nail clippers,
screwdrivers, fly  swatters and rolled-up
newspapers must be  registered by January
2060

IRS sets lowest tax rate  at 75 percent.

Floruba voters still  having trouble with
voting machines.

Now, share this with whomever you want and
as many as you want, then, guess what...
NOTHING will happen. No miracles, no money,
absolutely nothing, except you might make
someone smile or be very,  very  scared.

I Love This Country!

It's The Government That  Scares Me!
Stop organized crime.  Re-elect no one.