How to live happily ever after, according to science
"Date nights" don't work. Battling dragons on the other hand...
By Eric Barker, Barking Up The Wrong Tree | May 6, 2014
It's going to take a little more than a romantic dance.
(Facebook.com/Cinderella)
As Daniel Jones, author of Love Illuminated, explains: we spend our youth asking "How do I find love?" and midlife asking "How do I get it back?"
Anyone in a relationship or who plans on being in one needs to know how to keep love alive over the long term. But how do you learn the secret to this? Everyone is happy to explain "how they met" but few give the details on "how they stayed together."
So let's look at what science has to say.
"Happily ever after" ain't easy
Aside from being the epitome of lazy writing, "happily ever after" is not simple.
Ty Tashiro explains that couples in their first year of marriages score 86 percent for marriage satisfaction. By the seventh year, it's under 50 percent.
Yes, about 50 percent of couples get divorced. Another 10-15 percent separate but do not file paperwork. And 7 more percent are chronically unhappy.
So the real stat is two-thirds of marriages do not live "happily ever after."
Why is marriage so hard over the long term?
One of the main reasons is what science calls it "habituation." Which is a fancy way of saying we get bored.
Early on, when a couple can finish each other's sentences it's romantic. But over time "predictable" is a huge negative.
Chris Rock gets the point across humorously in this video (NSFW):
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