A Fan Asked Mike Rowe For Life Advice…His Response is Priceless
Hey Mike!
I’ve spent this last year trying to
figure out the right career for myself and I still can’t figure out what
to do. I have always been a hands on kind of guy and a go-getter. I
could never be an office worker. I need change, excitement, and
adventure in my life, but where the pay is steady. I grew up in
construction and my first job was a restoration project. I love
everything outdoors. I play music for extra money. I like trying pretty
much everything, but get bored very easily. I want a career that will
always keep me happy, but can allow me to have a family and get some
time to travel. I figure if anyone knows jobs its you so I was wondering
your thoughts on this if you ever get the time! Thank you!
- Parker Hall
Hi Parker
My first thought is that you should
learn to weld and move to North Dakota. The opportunities are enormous,
and as a “hands-on go-getter,” you’re qualified for the work. But after
reading your post a second time, it occurs to me that your
qualifications are not the reason you can’t find the career you want.
I had drinks last night with a woman I
know. Let’s call her Claire. Claire just turned 42. She’s cute, smart,
and successful. She’s frustrated though, because she can’t find a man. I
listened all evening about how difficult her search has been. About how
all the “good ones” were taken. About how her other friends had found
their soul-mates, and how it wasn’t fair that she had not.
“Look at me,” she said. “I take care of myself. I’ve put myself out there. Why is this so hard?”
“How about that guy at the end of the bar,” I said. “He keeps looking at you.”
“Not my type.”
“Really? How do you know?”
“I just know.”
“Have you tried a dating site?” I asked.”
“Are you kidding? I would never date someone I met online!”
“Alright. How about a change of scene? Your company has offices all over – maybe try living in another city?”
“What? Leave San Francisco? Never!”
“How about the other side of town? You know, mix it up a little. Visit different places. New museums, new bars, new theaters…?”
“How about that guy at the end of the bar,” I said. “He keeps looking at you.”
“Not my type.”
“Really? How do you know?”
“I just know.”
“Have you tried a dating site?” I asked.”
“Are you kidding? I would never date someone I met online!”
“Alright. How about a change of scene? Your company has offices all over – maybe try living in another city?”
“What? Leave San Francisco? Never!”
“How about the other side of town? You know, mix it up a little. Visit different places. New museums, new bars, new theaters…?”
She looked at me like I had two heads. “Why the hell would I do that?”
Here’s the thing, Parker. Claire
doesn’t really want a man. She wants the “right” man. She wants a
soul-mate. Specifically, a soul-mate from her zip code. She assembled
this guy in her mind years ago, and now, dammit, she’s tired of
waiting!!
I didn’t tell her this, because
Claire has the capacity for sudden violence. But it’s true. She
complains about being alone, even though her rules have more or less
guaranteed she’ll stay that way. She has built a wall between herself
and her goal. A wall made of conditions and expectations. Is it possible
that you’ve built a similar wall?
Consider your own words. You don’t
want a career – you want the “right” career. You need “excitement” and
“adventure,” but not at the expense of stability. You want lots of
“change” and the “freedom to travel,” but you need the certainty of
“steady pay.” You talk about being “easily bored” as though boredom is
out of your control. It isn’t. Boredom is a choice. Like tardiness. Or
interrupting. It’s one thing to “love the outdoors,” but you take it a
step further. You vow to “never” take an office job. You talk about the
needs of your family, even though that family doesn’t exist. And
finally, you say the career you describe must “always” make you “happy.”
These are my thoughts. You may choose
to ignore them and I wouldn’t blame you – especially after being
compared to a 42 year old woman who can’t find love. But since you
asked…
Stop looking for the “right” career,
and start looking for a job. Any job. Forget about what you like. Focus
on what’s available. Get yourself hired. Show up early. Stay late.
Volunteer for the scut work. Become indispensable. You can always quit
later, and be no worse off than you are today. But don’t waste another
year looking for a career that doesn’t exist. And most of all, stop
worrying about your happiness. Happiness does not come from a job. It
comes from knowing what you truly value, and behaving in a way that’s
consistent with those beliefs.
Many people today resent the suggestion that they’re in charge of the way the feel. But trust me, Parker. Those people are mistaken. That was a big lesson from Dirty Jobs, and I learned it several hundred times before it stuck. What you do, who you’re with, and how you feel about the world around you, is completely up to you.
Many people today resent the suggestion that they’re in charge of the way the feel. But trust me, Parker. Those people are mistaken. That was a big lesson from Dirty Jobs, and I learned it several hundred times before it stuck. What you do, who you’re with, and how you feel about the world around you, is completely up to you.
Good luck -
Mike
Mike
PS. I’m serious about welding and North Dakota. Those guys are writing their own ticket.
PPS Think I should forward this to Claire?
PPS Think I should forward this to Claire?
Credit: The Real Mike Rowe
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