Thursday, November 24, 2016

23 Adult Truths

1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still
not know what time it is.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest or Google Maps really need to start their directions on #5.
    I'm  pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment when
you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the
rest of  the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-Ray?  I
don't want to have to restart my collection... again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks
me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that
I swear I did  not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not
to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers.  I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just
nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team
up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.  Stay strong,
brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get
dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car
keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on
the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button
from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every

23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874
and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100
years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

(Ladies ... Quit Laughing! )

It just gets better as you get older, doesn't it?

I was in a Starbucks Coffee recently when my stomach started rumbling
and I realized that I desperately needed to fart.  The place was
packed, but the music was really loud so to get relief and reduce
embarrassment I timed my farts to the beat of the music.  After a
couple of songs I started to feel much better.  I finished my coffee
and noticed that everyone was staring at me.  I  suddenly remembered
that I was listening to my Ipod (with ear piece) - and how was your

(This is what happens when old people start using technology!)

Stop laughing and go ahead and forward this - (you know you want to)
I Would Like To Add One.

At What Point-In-Life Do We Become "OLD PEOPLE " ??

     "O'le Wat'z-I'z-Name"

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