Guccifer has apparently hacked into Hillary’s server. Said it was like an open orchid on the internet. He’s started to tell authorities about what he found lurking there:
- Bill’s Black Book
- Chelsea’s personality
- Pages of search results for ‘How to get stains out of blue fabric’
- Donald Trump’s DNA sequence and a map of his brain (it’s a very small file)
- A large number of instant message threads in which Muammar repeatedly spurned her advances
- A list of the true names and preferred sacrifices for each member of a group referred to only as Legion
- Plans to convert Bill into a trans-First Lady
- Receipts for frequent wire transfers from the Clinton Foundation to a Nigerian prince
- Receipts for frequent wire transfers from the Clinton Foundation to AshleyMadison.com
- Receipts for frequent wire transfers from the Clinton Foundation to furry_curious.com
- A partial, rough draft of a supernatural romance about the first woman President and the ghosts of Eleanor Roosevelt and Nixon’s dog Checkers
- Numerous terse rejection e-mails indicating that ‘her soul just isn’t worth that much’
Posted on May 6, 2016 10:22 am
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