A guy from ALABAMA passed away and left his entire estate to his beloved widow, but she can't touch it 'till she's 14.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~How do you know when you're staying in a MISSISSIPPI hotel?When you call the front desk and say,"I gotta leak in my sink," and the clerk replies, "Go ahead."~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~How can you tell if a GEORGIA redneck is married?There's dried tobacco juice on both sides of his pickup truck.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in ALABAMA to 32?It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high school.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw in GEORGIA ?Documentaries!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Where was the toothbrush invented?MISSISSIPPI.If it had been invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teeth brush.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~An ALABAMA State trooper pulls over a pickup on I-65 and says to the driver,"Got any I.D.?" and the driver replies"Bout wut?"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Did you hear about the $3 million GEORGIA State Lottery?The winner gets $3.00 a year for a million years.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The governor's mansion in ALABAMA burned down!Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park. The library was a total loss too. Both books-poofed up in flames and he hadn't even finished coloring one of them.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A new law was recently passed in MISSISSIPPI.When a couple gets divorced, they are STILL cousins.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A guy walks into a bar in GEORGIA and orders a mudslide. The bartender looks at the man and says,"You ain't from 'round here are ya boy?"No" replies the man, I’m from California.”The bartender looks at him and says, "Well, what do ya do in California?""I'm a taxidermist," said the man.The bartender, looking very bewildered now, asks, "What in the world is a tax-e-derm-ist?"The man says,"I mount animals."The bartender hollers to the whole bar..."It's okay boys, he's one of us!
Sunday, May 26, 2019
SOUTHERN HUMOR 052519
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