Sunday, May 3, 2020

GOOD STUFF 05032020 YOU MAY HAVE MISSED


++++++++
CLICK/TAP IMAGE TO ENLARGE






















++++++++
THE IRISH SECTION

Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary's apartment when Paddy Murphy loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue playing standing up.

 Michael O'Connor finally looks around and asks, 'Me boys, someone got's to tell Paddy's wife. Who will it be?'

 They draw straws. Paul Gallagher picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse.

 'Discreet??  I'm the most discreet Irishmen you'll ever meet. Discretion is me middle name. Leave it to me.

 Gallagher goes over to Murphy's house and knocks on the door. Mrs. Murphy answers, and asks what he wants.

 Gallagher declares, 'Your husband just lost $500, and is afraid to come home.'

 'Tell him to drop dead!', says Murphy's wife..

 'I'll go tell him.' says Gallagher.



 Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut, and bruised, and he's walking with a limp.

 'What happened to you?' asks Sean, the bartender.

 'Micheal O'Connor and me had a fight,' says Paddy

 'That little skinny O'Connor?,' says Sean, 'How could he do that to you? He must have had something in his hand.'

 'That he did,' says Paddy, 'a shovel is what he had, and a terrible beatin' he gave me with it.'

 'Well,' says Sean, 'you should have defended yourself ta same. Didn't you have something in your hand?'

 That I did,' said Paddy. 'Mrs. O'Connor's breast. And a thing of beauty it was; but useless in a fight.'





 An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road.

 A cop pulls him over. 'So,' says the cop to the driver, 'where have ya been?'

 'Why, I've been to the pub of course,' slurs the drunk.

 'Well,' says the cop, 'it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening.'

 'I did all right,' the drunk says with a smile.

 'Did you know,' says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, 'that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?'

 'Oh, thank heavens,' sighs the drunk. 'for a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf.'





 Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.

 He says, 'So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?'

 She says, 'Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night.'

 The priest says, 'Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?'

 She says, 'That he did,

 The priest says, 'What did he ask, Mary?'

 She says, 'He said, Please Mary, put down that gun....'







 AND THE BEST FOR LAST . . ..

 A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.

 The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention, but the drunk continues to sit there.

 Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.

 The drunk mumbles, 'Ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either.




++++++++
JUST ONE MORE REMINDER




++++++++







++++++++







++++++++


Our rulers must limit their information to the mainstream media. If they knew the following, surely they would get their boot off the neck of society and let people get back to work:
• The economically catastrophic lockdowns do not save lives.
• Children do not transmit COVID-19.
• In San Diego, 24.7% are out of work; unemployment there was only 4.9% a month ago.
• COVID-19 death counts are grossly inflated.
• Half or more of COVID-19 fatalities occur in nursing homes.

++++++++







++++++++
OUCH!




++++++++
WOW!






++++++++
SOCIAL DISTANCING




++++++++
Pastor Danny Jones of Gainesville, GA
www.northlakebaptist.org





++++++++
Joe stalls out and Jill rushes in to hit the restart button!




++++++++
Donald Trump invited the Pope for lunch on his yacht.

The Pope accepted and during lunch a puff of wind blew the Pontiff's hat off - right into the water.
 
It floated off about 50 feet; then the wind died down and it just floated in place.
 
The crew and the Secret Service were scrambling to launch a boat to go get it, when Trump waved them off, saying, "Never mind boys, I'll get it.”
 
Then Donald climbed over the side of the yacht, walked on the water to the hat, picked it up, walked back on the water, climbed into the yacht, and handed the Pope his hat.
 
The crew was speechless.  The security team and the Pope's entourage were speechless.
 
No one knew what to say, not even the Pope.

 
But that afternoon, ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, NPR, and MSNBC reported: "TRUMP CAN'T SWIM



++++++++
DON'T MESS WITH HER!




++++++++
This Guy Hiked From Mexico To Canada And Filmed One Second Each Day. Here's What He Saw In 3 Minutes.




++++++++







++++++++
" THE LOBSTER TRAP ? "

The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, the man answered his door to find a grim-faced constable waiting in the front yard. "We're sorry, Mr. O' Flynn, but we have some information about your dear wife, Maureen" said the officer.

"Tell me! Did you find her?" Michael Patrick O'Flynn asked. The constable said, "I have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which would you like to hear first?"

Fearing the worst, Mr. O' Flynn said, "Give me the bad news first." The constable said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but early this morning we found your poor wife's body in the bay." "Lord sufferin' Jesus and Holy Mother of God!" exclaimed O' Flynn. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What could possibly be the good news?"

The constable continued, "When we pulled the late, departed poor Maureen up, she had 12 of the best-looking Atlantic lobsters that you have ever seen clinging to her. Haven't seen lobsters like that since the 1960's, and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch."

Stunned, Mr. O' Flynn demanded, "Glory be to God, if that's the good news, then what's the really great news?" The constable replied, "We're gonna pull her up again tomorrow."


++++++++


FULL STORY 

++++++++
Blow for China's virus diplomacy as 'One Sea' friendship song leaves Filipinos furious.


++++++++


++++++++



++++++++
A series of diplomatic incidents has undone decades of work building Sweden-China relations.


++++++++







++++++++
Just one of many ways to land a gyroplane..

Doug Smith
43 mins
Xenon RST coming in for a landing at P-burg airport (3i7) on RWY21. Enter into a short dwonwind, throttle engine back to an idle, turn to left base and then final. Perform a little vertical descent, nose it on over to increase forward airspeed. Touchdown ease back on the sick to engage this big giant airbrake and come to a complete stop. Front wheel touchdown and off to the hangar for a post inspect. This is just one of many ways to land a gyroplane.


++++++++




HERE   


++++++++





++++++++






++++++++





++++++++
++++++++

Kung Fu: The Journey From Grasshopper to Caine



++++++++
Feb 22, 2013, 5 
Apr 17, 2020
Apr 21, 2020
Dec 30, 2012, 2 comments
Nov 23, 2013
May 4, 2009
Mar 3, 2019
++++++++

++++++++
BEST PICTURE OF CHE...





++++++++

No comments:

Post a Comment