A woman goes into the Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. A Bass Pro Shop associate is standing there wearing dark shades.
She says, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"
He says, "Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything about it from the sound it makes."
She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.
He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB. test line. It's a good all around combination and it's on sale this week for only $20.00."
She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!"
As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.
"Oh, that sounds like a Master Card," he says.
She bends down to pick up her MasterCard and accidentally passes wind. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around. The man rings up the sale and says,
"That'll be $34.50 please."
The woman is totally confused by this and asks,"Didn't you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?"
He replies, "Yes, Ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00 and the Bear Repellent is $3.50
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When you're over seventy.......... who cares?
I was standing at the bar at the Legion post one night minding my own business when this fat ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind, and said, "You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?
I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"
She said, "Yeah, I got a pen".
I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."
Cost me 6 stitches...but, When you're over seventy............who cares?
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I went to the drug store and told the clerk ...
"Give me 3 packets of condoms, please"
Lady Clerk: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?";
I said "Nah... She's purty good lookin'..."
When you're over seventy.............who cares?
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I was talking to a young woman at the Legion last night.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave, and got your hair cut, you'd look all right.";
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead
of you."; Cost me a fat lip, but...
When you're over seventy............who cares?
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I was telling a woman in the Club about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts.
"Really" she said, "Go on then.. try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling, she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"
I said, "Yesterday."
Cost me a kick in the groin, but...
When you're over seventy..............who cares?
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I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
When you're over seventy.............who cares?
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I went to our Legion last night and saw a big woman dancing on a table. I said, "Good legs."
The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
When you're over seventy.............who cares!
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