Never let it be said that golfers don't have odd senses of humor!
- Did you hear that Phil Mickelson called Elin Nordegren? He asked her for some tips on beating Tiger.
- The police asked Tiger's wife how many times she hit him. "I can't remember," Elin said, "just put me down for a 5."
- Ping has a new set of irons called Elins. You can beat Tiger with them.
- What does Tiger Woods have in common with a baby seal? They've both been clubbed by a Norwegian.
- Elin has agreed to stay with Tiger if he changed his name to Cheetah.
- Tiger's other women aren't mistresses. They're provisionals (a ball put into play in case it turns out your 1st is unplayable, say in a hazard)
- Did you hear Nike's new motto? Just do me.
- Tiger crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide between a wood and an iron.
- What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a golf ball 400 yards.
- Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole-in-one.
- Tiger has a new movie coming out. It's called Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant.
- Stephen Colbert: "Tiger always gives 110 percent. That is why he gave 100 percent to his wife and still had 10 percent left over for his alleged mistress."
- Conan O'Brien: "One of the women who claims she slept with Tiger Woods says they never talked about golf while having sex. However, contractually Tiger was obligated to talk about Nike, Gatorade and American Express."
· What don't Santa Claus and Tiger Woods have in common? Santa Claus stops after just 3 Ho's!!!
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