The Obama economy is so bad.

The Obama economy is so bad...
* Creflo Dollar had to change his name to Creflo Quarter
* Politicians are offering layaway plans for bribes
* Dollar Stores now have signs that say, "Just Four Easy Payments
of $0.25!"
"Made in Taiwan" is now considered a designer label
* Everyone showed up to your Halloween party as a hobo * - and
they weren't wearing costumes
* David Letterman had to write one of his own jokes
* They had to close the Starbucks across the street from the
Starbucks
* Betty Crocker started a new product line called "Roadkill
Helper"
* If you call in the next 10 minutes you get nothing extra, but
you still have to pay additional shipping and handling
* When a woman says she'll give you a blow job, your first thought
is employment opportunity
* Lesbians are wearing flannel shirts - to keep warm
* We're finally protecting our borders - to keep Americans from
sneaking into Mexico
* J.C. Penney is now called J.C.I.O.U.
* I got a letter that says I'm pre-declined for a credit card
* CBS can only afford to film 20 minutes worth of 60 minutes
* The "Special" at my grocery store is "Buy One, Get One"
* eHarmony is allowing sheep to register for potential dates
* Police have to use prank hand buzzers instead of tasers (don't
hand-buzz me, bro)
* Joel Osteen is now preaching the Austerity Gospel
* I won't take credit for writing these jokes without sufficient
collateral
Stolen from Twitter...
* A picture is now only worth 200 words
* Kenya now claims Barack Obama wasn't born there
* It only takes one lick to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll
Pop
* When I get a message from the bank about "insufficient funds" I
wonder if it means me or them
* Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore
* Chicago politicians are laying off judges