He's flying thru the air and sees a light up ahead. All of a sudden he's dressed in beautiful white flowing robes and, walking thru this beautiful pasture, he comes upon a huge wall of solid gold with a gold city inside and a pair of pearly gates with a kindly old gentleman standing in front.
The guys asks the old gentleman "Can I go in here"
The gentleman "No, I'm sorry, your entrance is along this path". He pointed to a steep, narrow, rocky path winding down a hill and out of sight.
The guy heads on down the path. The rocks are slippery, he falls many times, his clothes are torn, dirty, and he's cut, bloody, and naked. Finally, way down ahead, he sees this beautiful, shiny crystal city glowing bright in the sun. It's surrounded by high crystal walls with huge crystal palaces inside.
Just then he sees the kindly old gentleman sitting on a large rock beside the path and asks "How'd you beat me here?"
The gentleman "Oh, you must mean my brother. Follow me and I'll show you the easy way from here."
The guy looks back and sees there's no way he could ever make it back up that path. So, he follows. The path is very easy with the man leading the way thru the brilliant shining gate in the brilliant shining walls. Once inside and the gates close the guy realizes the walls are not crystal but made from cementing billions of broken beer, wine, and whisky bottles with the smooth shiny sides out and the sharp, jagged, broken sides on the inside face of the wall. From here he can see past the crystal palace and it's just a facade of the some construction.
The kindly man says "Welcome to hell, son!" but he's not so kindly looking now. His robes are black with soot and his face is frightfully mean with huge glowing red eyes, his lips snarled back revealing large file sharpened teeth, and the hair on his head is actually flames of fire.
The guy cries out" WHAT WILL BECOME OF ME NOW?"
"It's not so bad here, you have choices. Follow me!"
They move on out of the light and into darkness and cold. The guy can only see well enough to follow. It's very cold and they move towards a blue light ahead. Suddenly they are above a huge quarry full of ice cold water. There are large chunks of ice floating and the water is full of naked people screaming from the cold. They have icicles hanging from ears, eyes, mouths. They scratch and claw each other to climb out on one of the big ice chunks. When they do climb out icicles form on hands, feet, and any other dangly parts and they lose grip and fall back in. The guy's flesh is beginning to freeze.
The guy says "No, no, not here!"
They continue on back into more darkness. The guys stumbles on following and notices it's finally getting quite warm in this darkness, his flesh is no longer freezing and there's a glow of red light ahead. Suddenly they are above a huge pit of hot flaming coals. It's full of naked people screaming in pain from the flesh burning right off their bodies and they're climbing on one another to get a slight temporary relief from being in the coals before another drags them off to climb upon them. The guy's flesh is beginning to burn.
The guy cries out "NO, NO, NO, not here!"
They continue on back into more darkness. The guys stumbles on following and notices it's finally getting slightly cooler in this darkness and his flesh is no longer burning but he is beginning to detect a horrible stench is becoming more intense as the move on. Suddenly they are above a huge cesspool full of naked people standing up to their waist in a horrible dark soupy sludge of excrement and rotting burnt flesh and frozen body parts. The people are all sipping coffee. The guy thinks this is disgusting but I've heard you can get used to smells and at least you can sip coffee.
The guy turns to the not so kindly man and say's "This is my choice."
The not so kindly man hands him a cup of coffee and pushes him down into the cesspool.
As the guy is standing there, up to his waist in the excrement and rotting body part sludge, and sipping his coffee, he hears the so kindly man roar an earth shaking loud evil laugh as he turns back up the path.
The so kindly man roars in a deafening voice " COFFEE BREAK IS OVER!!! BACK ON YOUR HEADS!!!!! WHAH HAH HAH HAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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