“No more dropped connections, no more stuttering video,” Cook effervesced. “You’ll get strong clear, reception anywhere you travel, whether it’s Martha’s Vineyard, Vail, Hawaii, Spain, Rio, or even your local Ray’s Hell Burger.”
Although some documentation, such as its original, long-form Certificate of Authenticity and the test results from various universities’ performance evaluations, will not be included with the iBama, Mr. Cook airily dismissed concerns over the omission. He emphasized that the wondrous device should be “judged on performance, not rumors,” and reminded potential buyers they should instead focus on “the many positive reviews it’s received from all the major news networks, give or take one.”
He also noted that “people need to accept that its eco-friendly all-electric design really is the future of computing in America, despite some in the right-wing media havingexaggerated the tendency of its batteries to burst into flame.”
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