Sunday, November 4, 2012

Heard it in a bar last night...

This girl looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, "Is that Corona or Blue?"
I said, "There's a tap underneath, taste it."

***
I was talking to a girl in the bar last night.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there."

***
I went to the pub last night and saw a fat girl dancing on a table.
I said to her, "Nice legs."
The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so."
I said "Definitely, most tables would have collapsed by now. "

***
I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day
 a woman was born just by feeling their tits.
"Really" she said, "Go on then...try."
After about 30 seconds of fondling she began to lose patience.
"Come on, what day was I born"?
I said, "
Apparently yesterday."

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