They see a big sign posted that says, "Convert to Catholicism and get $100"
One of the Jewish men stops walking and stares at the sign.
His friend turns to him and says,
"Murray, what's going on?"
"Abe," replies Murray, "I'm thinking of doing it."
Abe says, "What are you, crazy?"
Murray thinks for a minute and says, "Abe, I'm going to do it."
With that, Murray strides purposefully into the church. Twenty minutes later he walks out with his head bowed.
"So," asks Abe, "did you get your hundred dollars?"
Murray looks up at him and says, "Is that all you people think
of?"
Angela was nearing 60 and was in her final year of teaching.
She was a devout Christian who missed teaching from the Bible.
Because she was worried at how little her class knew about religion, Angela decided she was going to disregard the new regulations and teach some religion.
She told her class that she would run a contest. She would give $50 to whoever could tell her who was the greatest man who ever lived.
Immediately Moishe began to wave his hand, but Angela ignored him in favor of those in her Sunday school class.
As she went around the room, Angela was disappointed with the answers she got.
Jane, her best scholar, picked Noah because he saved all the animals.
Others said, "I think the greatest man who ever lived was Alexander the Great because he conquered the whole world." and "I think it was Thomas Edison, because he invented the light bulb."
Finally, she called on Moishe who still had his hand in the air.
"I think the greatest man who ever lived was Jesus Christ." said Moishe.
Angela was shocked but still gave him the $50 reward.
As she did so, she said, "Well, Moishe, I'm very surprised that you should be the only one with the right answer. How come?"
"Well, to tell you the truth," Moishe replied as he pocketed the money, "I think it was Moses, but business is business."
She was a devout Christian who missed teaching from the Bible.
Because she was worried at how little her class knew about religion, Angela decided she was going to disregard the new regulations and teach some religion.
She told her class that she would run a contest. She would give $50 to whoever could tell her who was the greatest man who ever lived.
Immediately Moishe began to wave his hand, but Angela ignored him in favor of those in her Sunday school class.
As she went around the room, Angela was disappointed with the answers she got.
Jane, her best scholar, picked Noah because he saved all the animals.
Others said, "I think the greatest man who ever lived was Alexander the Great because he conquered the whole world." and "I think it was Thomas Edison, because he invented the light bulb."
Finally, she called on Moishe who still had his hand in the air.
"I think the greatest man who ever lived was Jesus Christ." said Moishe.
Angela was shocked but still gave him the $50 reward.
As she did so, she said, "Well, Moishe, I'm very surprised that you should be the only one with the right answer. How come?"
"Well, to tell you the truth," Moishe replied as he pocketed the money, "I think it was Moses, but business is business."
A Jewish businessman was in a great deal of trouble.
His business was failing, he had put everything he had into the business, he owed everybody it was so bad he was even contemplating suicide.
As a last resort he went to a Rabbi and poured out his story of tears and woe.
When he had finished, the Rabbi said, "Here's what I want you to do: Put a beach chair and your Bible in your car and drive down to the beach. Take the beach chair and the Bible to the water's edge, sit down in the beach chair, and put the Bible in your lap. Open the Bible; the wind will rifle the pages, but finally the open Bible will come to rest on a page. Look down at the page and read the first thing you see. That will be your answer, that will tell you what to do."
A year later the businessman went back to the Rabbi and brought his wife and children with him.
The man was in a new custom- tailored suit, his wife in a mink coat, the children shining.
The businessman pulled an envelope stuffed with money out of his pocket, gave it to the Rabbi as a donation in thanks for his advice.
The Rabbi recognized the benefactor, and was curious. "You did as I suggested?" he asked.
"Absolutely," replied the businessman.
"You went to the beach?"
"Absolutely."
"You sat in a beach chair with the Bible in your lap?"
"Absolutely."
"You let the pages rifle until they stopped?"
"Absolutely."
"And what were the first words you saw?"
"Chapter 11."
His business was failing, he had put everything he had into the business, he owed everybody it was so bad he was even contemplating suicide.
As a last resort he went to a Rabbi and poured out his story of tears and woe.
When he had finished, the Rabbi said, "Here's what I want you to do: Put a beach chair and your Bible in your car and drive down to the beach. Take the beach chair and the Bible to the water's edge, sit down in the beach chair, and put the Bible in your lap. Open the Bible; the wind will rifle the pages, but finally the open Bible will come to rest on a page. Look down at the page and read the first thing you see. That will be your answer, that will tell you what to do."
A year later the businessman went back to the Rabbi and brought his wife and children with him.
The man was in a new custom- tailored suit, his wife in a mink coat, the children shining.
The businessman pulled an envelope stuffed with money out of his pocket, gave it to the Rabbi as a donation in thanks for his advice.
The Rabbi recognized the benefactor, and was curious. "You did as I suggested?" he asked.
"Absolutely," replied the businessman.
"You went to the beach?"
"Absolutely."
"You sat in a beach chair with the Bible in your lap?"
"Absolutely."
"You let the pages rifle until they stopped?"
"Absolutely."
"And what were the first words you saw?"
"Chapter 11."
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