BACON TAKEN TOO FAR

 

1. Bacon Vodka

Getting ready to rage for the night’s festivities? Looking for that little sumtin’ sumtin’ to spice up your boring, go-to college concoctions? Fear not my friends, Bacon Vodka is here. Nothing like the meaty flavor of pork to perk up your White Russian.

2. Bacon Gumballs

Winterfresh. Sour Apple. Watermelon. Those flavors of gum are like… soooo last year. With bacon gumballs the savory-sweet battle raging on in your mouth will leave you speechless.

3. Baconaisse

Consisting of egg yolks emulsified with oil, mayonnaise is one of the unhealthiest things you can consume. Add in bacon and your dumping gasoline all over the raging fire that is your already tortured arteries. I say bring on the premature heart attack! To live and to not eat bacon, is not to have lived at all.

4. Bacon Lube

Are you lacking some “sizzle” in the bedroom? Nothing will set the mood like the taste of bacon all over your naughty parts. For those who are kinky enough to use this product, more power to you. You win! You obviously really like bacon, I just hope your partner likes it too.

5. Bacon Toothpaste

Sick of those boring, minty flavors in your toothpaste? How would you like to brush your teeth with bacon? 4 out of 5 dentists recommend bacon toothpaste as a delightful pre-game to breakfast.

6. Bacon Perfume

Dear beautiful women of the earth, if you’re looking to grab a guy’s attention one place to start is Bacon Perfume. After all the key to any man’s heart is through food. Bacon infused perfume will turn heads and make men’s mouths water. Just a spritz “downstairs” and he’ll go to town.

7. Bacon Baby Formula

Are you an infant 0-9 months who is sick of eating mashed bananas and pureed potatoes? Do you ever feel like you deserve the same nourishment that your parents and Honey Boo Boo get? Experience the best of life from the beginning and indulge in the awesomeness that is bacon flavored baby formula.

8. Bacon Drink Tabs

Am I the only one who gets bored of drinking plain old water? Sometimes I like to add a squeeze of lemon or some crystal light. For the bacon-obsessed, these geniuses have created a dissolvable tab that will turn your water into BACON WATER! Sorry Jesus, you lose.

9. Bacon Alarm Clock

Rise and swine! Here’s a new way for you to wake ‘n bake. This is the most creative use of this godly treat I’ve ever seen. Instead of a jarring noise to jolt you out of bed, the Wake ’n Bacon cooks up a piece of bacon to ever so gently arouse those feelers in the back of your nose. Intoxicated by the smell of sheer heaven, you will rise from your slumber ready to face the day…with the strength of bacon.

10. Bacon Air

Just can’t get enough bacon? Distraught over the fact that you can’t be inhaling the fatty, salty treat 24/7? Two words: Bacon Air, the inhaler that releases bacon-flavored air. Self-medication has never been so delicious.

11. Bacon Flavored Rolling Paper

What better way to get ready for your munchies sesh than by rolling up that fatty J with a savory, bacon flavored paper? Who needs those fruity flavors like apple and grape, when we can smoke like a true baller. Gives new meaning to pig in a blanket.

12. Bacon Flavored Condoms

Who doesn’t love a bacon wrapped hot dog? There are a lot of flavored condoms – strawberry, banana, and the ever-popular chocolate. Add bacon to the list and you’ve got yourself an order

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