GPS
My Garmin
I have a little Garmin.
It sits there in my car.
A Garmin is a driver's friend.
It tells you where you are.
I have a little Garmin.
I've had it all my life.
It's better than the normal ones,
My Garmin is my wife
It gives me full instructions,
Especially how to drive.
"It's thirty miles an hour", it says,
"You're doing thirty five!"
It tells me when to stop and start
And when to use the brake.
And tells me that it's never ever
Safe to overtake.
It tells me when a light is red
And when it goes to green.
It seems to know instinctively
Just when to intervene.
It lists the vehicles just in front
And all those to the rear.
And taking, this into account,
It specifies my gear.
I'm sure no other driver
Has so helpful a device.
For when we leave and lock the car
It still gives its advice!
It fills me up with counseling.
Each journey's pretty fraught.
So why don't I exchange it
And get a quieter sort?
Ah well, you see, it cleans the house,
And makes sure I'm properly fed.
It washes all my shirts and things
And - it keeps me warm in bed!
Despite all these advantages
And my tendency to scoff,
I do wish that once in a while
I could turn the damned thing off!
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