Thursday, July 2, 2015

On the Subject of Pregnancy

Q: Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers or briefs?
A: You'll have an even better chance if he doesn't wear anything at all.

Q: What do you call a pregnancy that begins while using birth control?
A: A misconception.

Q: What is the easiest way to figure out exactly when I got pregnant?
A: Have sex just once a year.

Q: What is a chastity belt?
A: A labor-saving device.

Q: When does a woman's biological clock start ticking?
A: Right after she looks in the mirror and thinks, "On my God, crow's feet!"

Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: Should I have a baby after 40?
A. No, 40 children is way too many already.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A: If it's the flu, you'll get better.

Q: Does pregnancy affect a woman's memory?
A: Most of the ladies I asked don't remember.

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