Friday, May 29, 2015

ONE LINERS 052815

Q: How do you piss off Winnie The Pooh?
A: By sticking your finger in his honey.

Q: What do you call kinky sex with chocolate?
A: S&M&M.

Q: What is the biggest problem for an atheist?
A: No one to talk to during orgasm.

Q: Did you hear about the 150 lb. man who had 75 lb. testicles?
A: He was half nuts!!!

Q: What do you call a blonde grabbing at air?
A: Collecting her thoughts.

Q: What do women and spaghetti have in common?
A: They both squirm when you eat them.

Q: What's 69 and 69?
A: Dinner for four.

Q: What's worse than being raped by Jack the Ripper?
A: Being fingered by Captain Hook.

Q: How can you tell a macho woman?
A: She rolls her own tampons.

Q: How do you recycle a used tampon?
A: As a tea-bag for vampires.

Q: What do you do in case of fallout?
A: Put it back in and take shorter strokes.

Q: What's better than a rose on your piano?
A: Tulips on your organ.

Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend's frigid?
A: When you open her legs the lights go on.

Q: What kind of bees give milk?
A: Boo bees.

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