WHY MEN NEED SENSITIVITY TRAINING

Reasons for Sensitivity Training for Men:

* I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair.  But, by turning to religion I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing.  I converted to Islam and we're stoning her in the morning!

* The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers. So I did.  She's 25, and her name's Bambi.

* Went to our local bar with my wife last night.  Locals started shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my wife is 24 and I'm 50.  Completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.

* The cost of living has gotten so bad my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries.

* A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead".  The operator says, "How do you know?"  The man says, "The sex is about the same, but the dirty dishes are piling up!"

* I was explaining to my wife last night that Hindus believe when you die, you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."

* My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So I went down to Goodwill and got all her clothes back.

* The Red Cross just knocked on my door and asked if I’d contribute towards the floods in Pakistan.  I said I'd love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway.

* I was approached by a lady who asked me to buy a raffle ticket for an African orphan.  I said, “Hell no! With my luck I’d win one!”