Thursday, April 7, 2016


[Monday] night around 9:15 PM, social media became a furious storm of confusion regarding a man in white robes roaming along 10th St. and purportedly armed with a whip.
Students thought the white robes indicated Klu Klux Klan affiliation.
Naturally students whimpered for those in charge to provide them with a safe space:
But authorities’ hands were tied by our vestigial Constitution. Resident Assistant Ethan Gill warned his residents:
Students can come out from under their beds now. The Klansman in question was revealed to be Dominican monk Father Jude McPeak of St. Paul’s Catholic Center. His “whip” evidently consisted of a rosary.

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