NON PC NEWS REPORT

It has been announced police will be allowed to use water cannons on rioters. They are adding some Tide to stop the coloureds from running.

Two muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier in London . Police think it might be the start of Ram-A-Dam.

Following riots in Tottenham it is important to remind ourselves not all black people are stereotypical liars, thieves and arsonists. Many are drug dealers.

Riots in Birmingham UK last month caused over 1 million worth of improvements

Muslims have gone on a rampage in Manchester, killing anyone who is English. Police fear the death toll could be as high as 8 or 9.

They've had to cancel the pantomime 'Jack & the Beanstalk' in Birmingham, Bristol, Oldham, Bradford, Burnley, Leicester, Manchester and London. Apparently the giant couldn't smell any Englishmen.

Years ago it was suggested "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." But since all the doctors are now muslim I've found that a bacon sandwich works great.

Police in London have found a bomb outside a  mosque.
They've told the public not to panic as they have managed to push it inside.

During last night's high winds an African family was killed by a falling tree. A spokesman for the Birmingham City council said "We did not even know they were living up there"

Jamaican minorities in UK have complained  there are not enough television shows with minorities in mind, so Crime Watch is being shown 5 times a week now.

I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pickpocketed.  How could anyone stoop so low?

I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony, shaking a carpet. I shouted to him "What's up Abdul.  Won't start?"